Friday, July 22, 2016

THE WOUNDED DANCER



 


The stage was bare.
Some lights were lit.
The audience present were few in numbers and most were getting up to leave.
It was over.
The show was done and the place would soon be closed up until tomorrow evening's performance.

But, she sat there caressing her painful feet, looking for a moment to wrap her swollen toes and bandage the sores and aching callouses all over her feet. No one sees her on the corner of the stage, slowly packing her bags for the night and waiting for the painkillers to begin to take effect so that she can get up and begin her ascent, up the aisle and out the door, back to the city that never sleeps.

 

"I gave it my all tonight." She says within herself. "No one saw it but I gave my all tonight." Aching feet are proof she didn't hold herself back at any moment. She moved, she leaped, she held each position when she needed to and kept each expression perfect during each changing scene. Her dance was her all and she walked away, unnoticed, with no one saying, "She was one of the performers." and with an emptiness inside of her heart.

She was wounded.
Life had not been kind.
She blamed tonight but tonight had nothing to do with the wounds, the scars and the hurts that were buried deep inside of her. What she was feeling tonight was not the effect of years of being ignored, mistreated and emotionally sabotaged from childhood. There were tears that could no longer be cried and there was anger that only came through when the music soared and was loud enough to call her to move with each sound.
"Oh, if it wasn't for the music that called her to get away from it all, it just for a moment...."

 

The wounded dancer walked out into the city and carefully placed each foot, remembering the bandages and the wraps that would help her get home tonight. She stopped at a coffee shop for some midnight caffeine and allowed her thoughts to wander away from the coffee mug and into a dark closet where she saw her young self. Scared. Dark. Locked away and kept there even after so many screams and banging on the door. Left to sleep there. Cold. On a wet floor because the bathroom had not been allowed. The dancer smiled. "But you are free now little one. Are you not?"
Placing two dollars on the counter, she rose and walked out.

"Are you truly free?" A voice in the wind, close to heart, whispered deep into her soul.

Her feet carried her towards her neighborhood and the sound of a man's voice, speaking loudly caught her attention. "Who would be speaking so loudly at this past midnight hour? Yes, the city was alive with lights, tourists and busy bodies, but who would even care to be speaking out at this hour?" 

She walked towards the voice and once more heard him say, "There is freedom for the wounded heart. There is freedom for your broken heart. If your feet are hurting because you cannot find the road to freedom on your own, God cries out to you tonight and invites you to find the road where you will find freedom to dance in His presence like never before. He invites you to dance and bask in his love. He calls you out and invites you to bring him your pain, your past with all it's hardships. God loves you so much. You don't have to drag your feet and keep dancing to the music of your pain. Heaven has begun a new sound, just for you. Will you hear the melody of heaven's sound, inviting you to come near, lay down your burden, open your heart to God's love and dance anew, the dance of being free and knowing His love."

 Bible Verse on Pointe Shoes! Amazing Idea!:


Tired. 
She was definitely tired of the way life had turned out but here was this guy reminding her of the words she'd grown up hearing in Sunday school. Did God really care? Did he really love her? She continued to listen to this preacher man, who didn't look like a preacher at all, but he inspired her to dare and open her heart to discover the love of the Lord, beckoning to her to let him heal her hurts and make all things new.

"So," the preacher said as he looked at her.
"Are you talking to me? Because I don't even know you." the dancer answered.
"Yes. I have two questions for you." he responded.
"Look, I really have to get home...." she started to give some excuses but he smiled and said, "Humor me."
"Okay." the dancer said. "Two questions."
"One (1)" he began, "Do you want to keep walking away from God's love when you know in your heart He is inviting you tonight to dare and believe that He loves you no matter what you think. He loves you even though you think you're unworthy of such love. He loves you even when you think you are hopeless and no one cares. Will you at least try and open up your heart to say yes to his love? The Savior of this world would have died even if it would be for just one person alone, YOU. You mean everything to the Lord. What do you say? Tired of the broken road and ready for a new direction for your heart?"

"I don't know....What's the second thing you have to get off your chest?" 
She looked at him, somewhat resistant and afraid. He smiled. He bent down and placed his hands into some huge luggage around his feet. His lifted up and had in his hands an old violin. He smiled again and nodded to her.

 

 "Number two (2) is simple. Listen to the music of his heart inviting you to dance into His presence, into His love. He turns your mourning into dancing. He rejoices and sings over you tonight as you open your heart and allow the healer of your heart to restore every broken area of your life."

The preacher began to play, at first like a beginner would strum the violin, but then as if heaven had come down to accompany him, his heart and soul took over the instrument and a powerful anointing from the Lord of glory poured out like rain upon him. And, as he played, the wounded dancer allowed the music and the love pouring out through each sound to wrap itself around her til she found herself dancing, twirling and moving around on the busy city street.

 
As she moved to the violin's story, tears poured out and she allowed God's love to enter into the hurting corners of her heart. She cried out a prayer to her Heavenly Father. She raised her hands and asked Him to come and have his way in her life just as she had done once as a child. She lowered her hands and fell on her knees, surrendering and giving her life to the One who had once been her friend. She began to see memories of moments sitting next to her grandmother in church and listening to the songs and the words that said, "No matter where you go, I will always love you. I will never stop loving you."

The preacher, the violinist, placed the violin away and off of his chin and shoulder. He placed the instrument back into the old luggage. The wounded dancer stopped and looked at him. Her dance had attracted a crowd but this time she didn't care to impress anyone but the God who had invited her to dance into her healing.

She was not the wounded dancer any longer. The Lord of the dance had restored her and given her a new reason to twirl, move, leap and go from side to side when the music came to life inside of her.

 “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20):




"So," the preacher said, "What will you say to his invitation? Was your dance just another word for "YES"?" 

Smiling, the wounded, no, the joyful dancer responded, "No other way to accept." 

Although the violin was stowed away and the preacher had began to pack and ready to go home, the healed dancer still heard a song as if raining from the heavenlies. Her heart was light, the hurts were gone, and she was full of hope. Her feet seemed to no longer ache and she now only had images of new dances in her mind that would her share with others what God, the God of new beginnings, wants to do in the lives of all his creation. 



She danced away until she came upon her building and as she got ready to open the door to go inside, she looked up to heaven. She bowed as if ending a recital. Unseen angels rejoiced and applauded. The skies were filled with celebration as one more had opened her heart to God's plan for her life. Joy! Unspeakable joy was hers even in the midst of her past and her pain. God has truly begun a new and great work in her life tonight and she could only look forward to what would come next.

My friend,
I am that wounded dancer.
No. I have never danced professionally, but a huge part of my life as a child and in my teens was given to finding my escape and my joy in dance. My energy and my hours were invested in trying to be the best because I wanted to dance professionally and I wanted to be recognized so that I would make it into the dance industry I loved so much. Many doors opened at one point in my life and I believe the prayers my mom sent to heaven had a lot to do with how those doors also closed suddenly, thus leading me to a Mighty Heavenly Father who would one day give me a new reason and purpose to move through dance.
 

I was that wounded dancer because my life was filled with sadness, no desire to live many times, and there was little joy in who I was. It was only through music that I felt some happiness or ability to show that I could be good at something. 
It was on a rainy night, on the streets, that I opened my heart to God's invitation and allowed him to enter my wounded heart and my burdened mind. When I got to where the preacher was, the preaching had finished and all I got to listen to was the call to give God a chance, to give him my heart and he would do a new thing in my life. It rained that night as I went forward. There were many on the streets and I was all the way at the back. My brother was there with me. We moved forward together. Our personal dance into the family and presence of the Lord.

 Walking in the Spirit “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1):

For the first time ever, I allowed myself to cry and not be afraid of who saw me. I felt as if the rain pouring down was removing the anger, the hate, the sadness and all the feelings of unworthiness. I was that wounded dancer and I know that even if you have never danced before, you are being invited to hear heaven's orchestra playing a redemption song for you tonight. God has great plans for your life. Yes, you may be hurting, but joy, great joy comes in the morning!!

I remember my first steps as a Christian, I was angry that I would never dance again. I cried out to God to take dance away because I began to dream and see myself dancing but filled with faith. I cannot tell you the people that told me I was not right with God because I shared those dreams. I was one of those first people many years ago that endured the ridicule, the confrontations of church leaders and ministries that said it was wrong to dance for the Lord. So, please, if you have the opportunity to dance as part of a ministry, don't take it for granted. So many of us paid a huge price to open the doors for so many that not just do it as a show and entertainment. Dance for God, not for people, not for show, just you and the Lord. And, dance to minister to lives. God will guide you and show you what to do if you listen to the music he places in your heart.

I pray, that you will listen to the song of heaven and open your heart, dance into God's presence and allow the healing to begin.
God loves you, dear friend, and he has a new dance waiting for you, if you just believe.

Written by Angeline M Duran Santiago


Tuesday, July 19, 2016

ALL OF ME


By Angeline M Duran Santiago

All of me.
Lord, I give you all of me.
I give you all of me because I need all of You.
I need you, Lord.
You are hope.
You are joy.
You are healing to these bones.
You are healing to this heart.

All of me.
The good, the bad, the ugly.
I give you all of me.
The parts you can see and the areas that are hidden. My secrets, my present, my dreams and yes, even my failures. You can take the mess-ups and do something new.

 

All of me, Lord.
I give you all of me because all of me needs you.
Desperately.
And everything inside of my mind,
Inside my heart, 
In every part of my life,
Truly needs You.

Restore.
Your Word promises to renew me if I trust You.
Your Word says I am new in You.
Your Word says if I ask, I shall receive
of your goodness and your love.

Thank you, Lord.

 

 

Monday, July 18, 2016

LET ME BE YOUR PEN

 

By Angeline M Duran Santiago

I know  your story.
You have shared some of the most difficult moments of your life as a child.
I know the pain you suffered in silence. The humiliation and how you were broken at such an early time in your life. Alone. Abandoned and still forced to keep going as if the world was a safe place. 
I know your story.
You and I have sat together for lengths of time, crying and just holding on, praying.
But, can I ask you something today?
Can I ask you to do something different?

You said you will start anew.
You said today is a new beginning.
So, Will you give me permission to be your pen?
Let me be the pen in your hand and the pen that writes your new story.
A new story.



Let me be your pen.
Let me blot out the past with this bottle of ink and paint over it JESUS.
Allow me to take all these pages with your hurts and your brokenness  and tear these pieces apart.
Come with me. Take my hand. Let us climb the highest mountain.
No, not that one. Let's find the highest one.
Here.
Let us go up and up. I know it is not easy to climb but you will see what we will do when we get to the top. Watch what will happen and how you will feel.
Take one bag and I take the other. 
Reach in and grab those torn pieces of your story.
Hold them until I have some.

 


Now, let's count together.....
1! 2! and 3!
Release them!
Come winds from the East, West, North and South!

Blow these shattered pieces to the farthest corner of the world and let this brokenness be no more.
Fly this story up to heaven where God can take this story and make it new.

Let me be your pen.
I will write the story God has sung over you.
New life. A new story.
Joy restored.
Healing for your mind.
Restoration in your life.
Healing in your shattered heart.
Every corner of your mind swept clean.
Every hurt, every wound, every abuse, covered with God's love.
A new life. A new story.
I know we are not pretending it never happened.
That's not what I mean.

I will never force you to imagine it never took place. I love you too much to want to make you look back when all I want is to see you go forward. I love you so much but oh, how much more Yahweh loves you.
So much more.
You're His child.

I just want to write new memories for you.
I want to write beautiful moments as they happen in your life.
I want to write about those days when deliverance begins and you dance like one who has truly been set free. I want to write about that moment when you raise your hands and are no longer full of shame. I want to write about that day when all your tears are no longer tears of yesterday's dark memories, but tears that flow when God's presence and God's love is being poured out and into your life from head to toe. 

 


Let me be your pen, your voice, 
the co-author to God's 
new beginning in your life.

So many chapters to write.
I just want to be the pen. And the eyes. For I will see it all as it happens.
I will walk with you and run with you.
I will listen and together we will cry.
I will hold you and if we need to fight, we will fight. 
We will pray, call out to God Almighty, together.
We will lean on His promises, together.

When you feel or think you can't go on, 

I am  not alone to cheer you on. 
Family, friends, and heavenly armies of angels are by your side.
Cheering you on in your new story.
A story of triumph and victory.

 


A story covered with the 
fingerprints of God.
The fingerprints of God. 

A story written with God's love in every sentence.
A story where the sacrifice of Jesus is not in vain.
Where He takes all those memories, all those scars, every piece of paper and says, "New!"
All things are made new.

Let me be your pen.
I will write it as the Lord leads. 
There is great excitement as I await to see what God will do each day.
Together, held in God's hands, we will write this new story of healing, together.

 


#abuse #sexualabuse #emotionalabuse #childabuse #mentalabuse #childhoodpain #memories #Godheals #Godrestores #New #NewinChrist #Godcares #Godslove #suicide #thepast #rape #incest #forgiveness #hatred #abandoned #childhoodnightmare #hurting

Sunday, July 17, 2016

LET THE HEALING BEGIN!


By Angeline M Duran Santiago

What causes us great pain?
If I asked you to describe what brings you tremendous sorrow, do you have the words to describe it or does it all hurt so much you can't speak? Do tears just seem to flow at the thought of a hurt that has lingered from deep in the yesterday of your life, your childhood, your past or just a few hours ago?

There are hurts and there are wounds that are so deep that it seems they cannot be closed with time. Time heals all wounds is a lie. Only God can truly heal. But, what happens when we've brought every scar, every wound and every traumatic moment to God and healing still seems impossible? What do we do when we've believed the past has been laid down to rest and suddenly it comes creeping back, haunting you and your dreams become those nightmares, over and over again?

 

I believe it has to do with not just settling for the moment. We cannot, or should not just think that extreme situations can just have a moment of deliverance and we stop there. I believe that the enemy doesn't let go so easily and even if he did, it is his mission to return to see if he can bring you down again to where you find yourself reliving painful memories or even believe you're losing your mind. It is a constant seeking of the Lord and a daily surrendering of your life to the Lord. 

There is no real being set free and/or being truly healed in our emotions and in our minds if we do not truly hide our lives in Christ. It is only when we allow our lives to be hidden in Him, can we let the healing begin. 

If you are someone that has been hurt, used, abused and horribly hurt, can I help you with a prayer? I may not have been hurt as you've been hurt, but I am here, even if just with my prayer.
Lord, as a seed must be placed in the soil so that it can die and therefore begin to be transformed into this object that pushes out roots and stems and branches, I lay my heart, my mind and my life down into the soil of your love. I close my eyes and lay down in surrender, death to my past, the hurts, the betrayals, the lies and the pain. I place them all in my hands and I lay down before you and place them all into the grave of who I was, what I've been and what hurt me all these years. I kneel down before you and declare that you are Lord not only of that day I gave you my heart, but of each day because I need you daily.

 

Lord, have your way and let healing begin. I want to be a blessing to my children and my family. They're hurting and I don't know how to help sometimes. Change me and make me whole. Let the healing begin. Begin in me. The past, the traumatic events that changed my life forever, the things I've harbored secretly in my heart that only you know and only you can take care of, I give it all to you dear God.

To my children, forgive me for words I've thrown out in my moment of anger. There's no excuse when I've said a word to offend, discourage and make you feel so sad. You are the greatest gift, most precious treasure in my life and I ask that you forgive me for lashing out when I should have stood quite. Forgive me for not being there when you needed me and I was too lost in my pain and discouragement. Instead of trusting more in God, I allowed life to throw me into a pit of darkness and I was far away, even though I was there by your side. Forgive me for not rising up to fight when I knew that God always gives us the victory. Yes, this is so far away in the past, but I know that there are wounds that heal slowly if ever and I want you to be whole and free in the Lord. Forgive me, my kids, for you are my love and my life.


To you who are still hurting from the abuse, the neglect and the all the damage that was caused to you when you should have been protected, God is your healer. Let the healing begin. Run to the Lord. Run into his love and trust Him.

 
My friend, if like me, you're in that place where you need the healing to begin, you have to plant yourself in the garden of the Lord. You cannot grow and succeed if you disconnect from God's love and power. Healing can only come by remaining in Him and not letting go. The moment you turn back to anything from your past, it all starts again. You open the door to your pain and the darkness. Why would you go there again if Christ has set you free? What is there in this world that can give you more than what God provides in His love and mercy?

Let the healing begin.
I cannot help anyone in my life unless I can forgive and walk in the freedom of God's love, forgiveness and mercy.
Flood my life with your love Lord and keep me in your arms. There is so much that needs to be opened up before it can be closed eternally. Help me, help us Lord to confront the darkness and fight in your Name. Help me to face the demons that assaulted me, my family, my children and my life for too long.


Enable me, and enable anyone who is struggling and battling their painful past, the abuse, their hurts and the let downs to trust in you as their Mighty Warrior. You are the healer of every sickness, disease and pain. You are the healer of every wound in our heart and in our mind. You are the healer of every pain and every abuse. God is the healer of every beat down, every torment, everything you've ever lived that made you walk in fear or even hating yourself. God is the healer when we feel unaccepted, unloved, dirty and disgusting. God is our refuge when the world tears us apart. God is your healer.

So, then, let us say it out loud, even when we can't, "Let the healing begin, yes, let is begin, in Jesus Name."
 


 

Thursday, July 14, 2016

GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:" 1 Peter 5:8:    


By Angeline M Duran Santiago

Be on the outside long enough and you will encounter someone or a few people that will start complaining, talking about other people, gossiping and stirring up the waters around you. They keep going to see if you join them, agree with them, seem interested, allow their words to effect you so you act upon them, or give them an audience with you head nodding or responding.

It is what it is.

I've learned~ or am still learning~ that some people love drama and will look for any given moment to get you to participate enough so you end up in the muddy waters of their story. A story that many times, I've learned, this person has created all by themselves and the other persons being mentioned don't even know they've been lined up in the battle. 

There are persons in our lives that live to create a stressful scenario where we think they're believable, because after all, they're your friend, right? So, we listen, we ponder, and sometimes get all angry and offended with their story. Next, we get angry at the person who may not even know this story is being written against them and against you. We end up angry, discouraged, feeling down and beaten. We walk away from our dreams, our calling, ministry in the service of the Lord, and we even walk away from a job we really love. 


 "God's not dead. He's surely alive. He's living on the inside. Roaring like a lion!" -Newsboys:


The enemy may show up like a lion, trying to intimidate and confuse but know that, (like my mom would say) he is just a lion without a bite, just a purr, just the "look" of the real Lion of Judah.
I write this because I know that lately there have been false friends that have surrounded me with their tales, their seeds of discord, and their broken stories to try and get me to join in their deceit. Too many have attempted to sway me on to their side, even saying, "Thus saith the Lord." But, the Lord has not spoken.

To you that not only come near me to speak negatively, share lies, and look for a way to hurt my testimony, please move on. If you need me to be a friend, I am here, but no lies, no gossip and let's not pretend God is sending you to sow division and discord because God is for peace, for unity, for a sound mind, and for His will to be done. God is interested in using us to show His love, His redemptive plan, and how living for the Lord is worth it all. To you that pretend to be on my side, I have been alive long enough, and I've had enough experiences with the fake stuff in people to know you do not come with God's heart and purpose, but you, like the devil, come seeking whom you may devour and destroy. Please step aside. I don't have time for your venting in my personal space. 

 Joshua 1:9 - God Loves You - Share or Like if you feel his love - http://www.facebook.com/pages/God-Loves-You/177820385695769:

My eyes are on the Lord. My ears are attentive to His Voice. Please step to the side, because when the Mighty Lion of Judah roars to claim me as his child, you just may get blown away. So, either get your life right with the Lord, or please, please walk away. 

Is this just for me? No. This message is for any child of God going through some hard times because others, especially either a friend or a supposedly Christian is all up in their face doing the work of darkness and not shining God's light. They are dealing with people who act like they love them and want to see them prosper, but deal with their actions that make them look incompetent and just want to see them fail. Some do it out of jealousy, spite or just a heart that has not yet completely surrendered to Almighty Yahweh.

People, the days are short. So, can we please get it together? It's time to seek the face of the Lord and not how to destroy and fight one another. It's time to pray and get our hearts right with God, not hurt people and make them end up depressed, hurt, or go crazy. This is not, definitely not, the work of God. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. God is love, not hate.

 The fear of God is the death of every other fear; like a mighty lion, it chases all other fears before it. —C.H. Spurgeon:

Join me. Pray for those so called friends. I am doing this daily. Pray for those people in your job or school or church that are coming against you. God can and will change the situation around. Pray for those who have been offended or do not speak to you because someone else made it their business to share lies and plant the enemy's seeds in their life as if you had said them, but you didn't. Put every care and every worry in God's hands. Trust Him. Believe me when I tell you, trust in the Lord because when God shows up, the walls will tremble with His Mighty Roar!!!

God will do great things in our midst. Keep praying and trusting.

 A lion never loses sleep over the opinions of sheep:

HOW DO I KNOW HE CARES?







Seek me with all your heart - Jeremiah 29:13:  
By Angeline M Duran Santiago

How do we know for sure that God has not forgotten us?
How can we be sure He cares about what we are going through, right now?

God is interested in every area of your life.
When you wake up and feel upset.
He cares.
Those moments you want to walk out of the room and not go back because you're so angry or so hurt that it's best to just leave.
God understands.
When you get bad news, really bad news, and it seems the ceiling falls upon you- literally.
God is there with you.
He has not forgotten you.
I know this.
I am sure.


April Lock Screen – C. Brooke Ring - Free Scripture Lock Screen - Floral Wallpaper for iPhone - Free Bible Verse Lock Screen:

Because,
He has not forgotten or abandoned me.
I've felt miserable and alone, many times.
I've felt like walking away and giving up, so many times.
There have been moments when life has not been fair, when the news has been horrible, and when my heart has felt so hard that I just wished God would take me away and not let me come back.
It was there that He reached out into the darkness in my life.
It was in my darkness that He loved me and accepted me, with my anger, my hurt.
He cares.
In your moment, in your now, in your chaos and despair.
He shows up.
He remains.
Even if He is quiet.
He will strengthen you when you say, "I can't take it any more!"
He will hold you up when your knees are weak and you want to fall and break down.
God will embrace you and hug you tight when you hurt and your heart feels like ice and stone.

 Amen, in Jesus name I accept my blessings of desires in abundance of immeasurable proportion, I accept salvation by confessing with my mouth that you my Lord Jesus, King of kings are my Lord and Savior, my God, because of you father everything I speak comes to fruition commanded by the Holy Ghost, through the everlasting love of Jesus Christ, embraced in Gods mercy and grace. Amen...  Lisa Christiansen, child of the one true king ΙΧΘΥΣ http://countingmyblessings.com/:


My friend, God cares. God is interested in your happy days and your crappy days.
God is aware of your needs. But, you must also be aware of His love for you and that He is reachable. His presence is available and His help is attainable. Just ask. Just reach out and grab His hands when He reaches out to you. Don't be afraid to invite Him into your secret closet, into your home, into your situation and trust Him. God will work it all out.

MY FAVORITE SCRIPTURE ART






Bible Journaling by Cara Carroll @thefirstgradeparade | John 4:14:








Kristen Wolbach @superkdubs Instagram photos | Websta / Romans 11:16-18 (MSG):  



Stephanie @stephmiddaugh Instagram photos | Websta:  

 

Stephanie Middaugh @stephmiddaugh Psalm 119:10 &amp...Instagram photo | Websta (Webstagram):



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my Bible:




Stephanie Middaugh @stephmiddaugh Instagram photos | Websta:



 Imprinted Heart ❤ @imprintedheart_ Instagram photos | Websta:



 Romans 3:

 Angeline M Duran Santiago

Wednesday, July 13, 2016