The God who Cares

The more each day passes by, no matter how dreary or filled with difficulties, I am daily reminded and assured that God is a God that cares. He cares for us. He cares about us. He cares about our today and our future. Even when the world has gone and done us wrong, God cares about our hearts. He provides a soothing balm that comes when we have been hurt or betrayed. When life hits us with one more hard moment, God is with us, by our side, and present in a way that is hard to explain. But, He is there. Maybe you have not heard His voice calming you and reminding you that He loves you. Perhaps you have felt that just when things couldn't get any worse, something more painful and harder falls on your lap. "Where are You, Lord?" You ask but you also demand. We almost sound like Lazarus' sister getting ready to say what He already knows. "Lord, if, if, if you had been here...If you had shown up on time, If you had come through, If you had healed... Then, he would not have died."

We question because we are disappointed. In our pain we fail to see that we are still walking and carrying through with a strength we cannot comprehend. The evidence that we are not forsaken lies in the reality that we can still get up and push through, even when all we really want is for someont to leave us alone. Turn off the lights, shut the door, and let me die. We want to be left alone. But, not really. We want the Lord to show up and perform the miracle we prayed for. "Lord, if... If only you had been here this would not be hurting so much. If you had showed up, this accident would not have happened. If you had said the words, healing would have taken place. Lord, if you were who you say you are, then life would have more power over death." We say things without thinking when we are hurting. God is life and He reigns powerfully over death. Death has no power over Life. It's not a race issue or an issue of where we stand economically. It's not about the color of our skin or what our political stand. It's a heart that needs to be reminded, you are loved, God cares. He cares for you. God's will is His final word even if we do not want to accept it or agree with it. He has the final say, the last call, and the ultimate decision. We are clay in His hands. We are His. And, if we are truly His, then we attempt to hear His voice singing over us when our hearts are bleeding. If we belong to Him then we feel His arms hold us tight when the ache is so strong and sometimes, only tears and soft whimpers come through. If we have truly chosen to belong to Him, then, we will lay our head on His chest, near His heart, and hear the heartbeat that says over and over again, "I love you! I love you! I have loved you with an everlasting love!" I'd love to pray with you, for you, or just listen or read what you write. God bless you, today and always. Hugs and love to all.

Be Bold!

I want to say that I have always been bold. I would be lying. My courage has always been enclosed in a chrysallis that has remained unchangeable, holding me hostage for a duration of years. Yup, that's why there are no butterfly wings on me. It doesn't me I completely failed to metarmorphosized, it just didn't happen overnight. I had to go through a lot of life moments to one day just blurt it out and say, "I am going to do this, whatever this is, even if it kills me." Seriously, I thought I would die, too. But, alas, here I am, living and breathing, but no longer afraid that my world will come crashing down if I dard to accept a challenge, do what I love, or try something new. The choice to be bold came with a price. Sweaty palms, a frozen mouth, feet unable to move, and words that refused to come out when I stared into the crowd. The headache and the sick feeling in my stomach were all signs that I wanted to run away, but I pushed myself and stuck it out, standing there, unable to utter anything intelligent. Thank God for next time, because I swore that next time I would not faint, I would not freeze up, and even if I spilled my guts out in front of the entire group, I was going to be bold and just do it. Being bold didn't happen overnight. I swear I wanted to be more courageous but it was ever so difficult. I was not shy about some things, like helping my mom or doing something for others. It was that moment of speaking before a group, acting out before a group, or making a friend that terrified me. I felt unable and that the effort would not be worth it. Then, I found words that changed my entire demeanor. I began to read a Bible that I had and I could not put it down. For a few years, I read and accepted it all as something amazing and that the stories were encouraging. But, it wasn't until later on in my teens when I understood that the God of the Bible had a plan for my life, and wanted to connect with me, that the words truly began to make sense.

I wanted to succeed in school. I wanted to write. I wanted to dance and sing and heck, I wanted to be able to not faint at the thought of speaking in front of a group! I wanted to be a teacher and all these fears of not being good enough or smart enough were holding me back. Then, I read the scriptures and it was as if someone was inside of my heart and knew exactly what I was struggling with. The fear of not belonging, not being accepted, not being heard, and not being good enough to make it through an audition or an interview. The question was loud and clear. "Have I not commanded you?" This was an order. The God who said He loved me and had created me with purpose chose to speak out, speak loudly into my world of fears and complications. He was asking me to remember all the scriptures I had been reading since childhood. Was I going to have what it took to respond to this question? "Be strong." How could God ask me or tell me to be strong when all I felt was weak in the knees and a stuttering mess? To be strong meant I was going to have to push through all my emotional issues and take a step forward.God was not asking me. He was directing me to be strong. Strong- secure, indestructable, impenetrable, tough, resistant, resilient, long-lasting and enduring. But, not just be strong. "Be strong and courageous." The joke seemed to be on me because I rarely had the guts to believe I could say anything worth lifting up your head to listen to. The words were clear. courageous- bravery, plucky, fearless, valor, lion hearted, bold, daredevil, adventurous, audacious, unflinching, unafraid, spirited, resolute, gutsy, spunky, determined, and ballsy. I was being told to be bold and put in practice the art of good courage. To me I interpreted this as teh courage do to do what was right, even if not everyone saw it for something good, but I was going to do it. I took the dreams in my heart, the assignments I had, the things I wanted to do and what I had to do and I chose to believe the scriptures concering everything I did in my life after learning the command of this verse to my life. I chose to not be afraid or dismayed. No matter if I was terrified of the outcome, of what others would think about me, or the consequences. I would be the opposite of fearless and dismayed. I would be bold and brave. I would put aside that nervous feeling that came, and even if I was shaking inside, I would take the next step forward and not be dismayed. How could I do what seemed impossible? How could I audition in front of trained artists? How could I preach in the streets? How could I talk about Jesus and attempt to teach the scriptures to those who had been raised in church and had gone to Bible school? How could I share my presentation in college and speak in front of a group of students? How would I get through an interview without dying a million times and then some more times afterwards? "For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." When these words, that the Lord my God was going to show up and be with me wherever I went, this became the game changer that eradicated my fears and turned me into a crazy girl who was going to be full of the God kind of courage to live her life. I danced away my fears. I sang away my shackles. I spoke outloud and shared my story of redemption just as fearless as I stood in my college classroom and presented the projects given to me alone or in a group. The moment it was engraved in me that God empowers his children to do great things during difficult situations, I knew I had nothing to fear because I would never think I was all alone again. Here I had the Creator of the Universe promising to stand with me in front of a classroom or a church. The Lord was declaring His love for me and walking into an interview with me and filling my heart with courage to speak with confidence and show that I had my stuff together. That is what God does. He gives us the boldness and the courage to face every fear and push through the hard events we prefer would go away. God shows up in the hospital room and says to his children, "Do not be afraid. I am with you. I am here." The Lord shows up in the courtroom and tells his children,"Be strong and of good courage, do not be dismayed because you are not going through the motions alone. I am right besides you. Look and see." The Lord is present when all hell breaks lose in a family gathering and there are misunderstandings and hurtful words exchanged. God reminds us to not be afriad to speak, Be of good courage to be a peacemaker, to forgive and fix the situation. God is with us there to help us through every battle and every challenge. God walks with us when we are pacing in the emergency room hallway and cannot even pray. His word tells us to remember his commands. The King of Kings, the One with all authority and power is telling us to not squirm or be wimpy. Do not shrink back. Do not fall apart. Do not speak negatively. Just believe. Believe you have what you need to face this difficult moment. The NIV translation says, "Do not be discouraged." My friend, do not quit. Do not give up hoping and trusting the Lord because God is not abandoning you when you have a hard time to do something hard. Believe. Today, I am not that child, teen, or young adult afraid to do what God placed in my heart to do. Today, I just do what I have to do because I live with the assurance that God accompanies me and helps me in everything I do. He can do the same for you but you are going to have to trust Him. You are going to have to be ballsy and gutsy and speak with confidence that God has your back. We are not alone. Will you believe that the Mighty God says He is going to be with you, He is going to go with us wherever we go. Wherever you go. I put my hope in the One that says He is with me. Might you consider doing the same? I am not saying life is not going to disappoint, or that it would hurt. I cannot promise that sometimes things just do not happen as we wish. But, whether life is going well, or the walls around us are falling apart, we have the promise that in the midst of the joy and the sorrow, wherever we go, God, El Shaddai, is with us. I'd love to know your thoughts. If you share with me, I will always respond. God loves you. God bless.

Forgetting What Is Behind

 If you've been in church for some years, you start to learn certain phrases and learn favorite scripture used during a sermon or teaching. There are several for me that I tend to refer to a lot when sharing with someone.

 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 KJV

Most of the time when I've heard someone share on this verse, they are referring to someone that is struggling with an addiction, a temptation, or an area in their life where they are struggling with making better choices for their life but keep going back to their old way of life. It seems many times preachers talk about those who go back to their old habits and ways of thinking, because they don't trust the Lord to deliver them from drugs, pornography, or any type of lifestyle that is hard to move away from. 

But, what if? Here I go again with my wonderings. What if, there's more to what this verse is talking about when it states, what if there is a literal meaning to taking the words to heart? What if there's another way of seeing this scripture when it talks about not conforming to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of the mind? 

What if when I look at not conforming, I consider what it means to conform? If I look at what it means to conform, it means to comply with rules, standards or laws. It means to behave according to socially acceptable conventions or standards. Some words that are synonymous to conform are to obey, follow, keep to, hold to, stick to, accept and go along with. In other words, if I am to apply this verse to my life, I am choosing not to comply with the rules, standards and laws everyone else is complying with. I am choosing to do the opposite of conform. I do not conform to the pattern of this world.

And what is the pattern we are advised not to conform to? For me, I see patterns in an artistic way. Repetition of lines or shapes, or a design. Pattern can also be influence, form, mold, the regular and repeated way something is done. I like Webster's definition because it helps me to share what I believe is keeping many persons in a rut, unable to move forward in life, and just stuck where they are because they think the process of renewing their mind only pertains to those lost in addiction or broken in their traumatic state. I am not a doctor, or have a degree to back up my thoughts, but I believe words and life experiences give me the diploma to write what I think. If you disagree, it's okay. I am going to write it anyway.

So, if I break it down, it might sound like this.

When it comes to the constant, the regular and repeated ways of doing life, don't obey the rules, and standards of this world.

You see, the pattern of this world is to keep you and me occupied in our thoughts, like a huge Ferris wheel that we get on but can never get off, because it never stops going around and around. Sort of like a pattern. Square, star, square, star, and what comes next? Square. Life is the same if we keep our focus on the patterns of this world. Stress, trauma, stress, trauma, stress. Disappointment, betrayal, pain, disappointment, betrayal, pain, etc. The pattern keeps you thinking about what comes next and we remain with the same thoughts, the same stress and the hurts never go away. We keep our heart and our mind on what happened, on how it happened, how painful it was or is, and we stay there in that thought process, over and over without end. 

My mom shared something today about what she was reading. She shared how the devil shows up and tells Jesus, "If you are the son of God, tell these stones to become bread." Matthew 4:3. We know Jesus answered. But, humor me a bit here. What if Jesus would have chosen to go along with the pattern of this world. I wonder if he would have started questioning, "Oh my goodness! Wait! Am I really the son of God? What if I try to turn the stones to bread and they turn to serpents?" No. Jesus knew who He was and is. Jesus knew why He had chosen to come to this world. He was King on a mission and no wanna be tempter was going to confuse Him. Jesus answered "It is written- "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."

Jesus didn't play around with words and stay wondering on "If you are" and he certainly didn't shake at the devil's weak attempt to get the Lord to obey him when he said, "tell". See, no one tells Jesus what to do. It was not going to happen. His eyes never strayed from his reason and purpose, even when he experienced humanity's exhaustion, hunger, thirst, and weakness. He remained in control and with all of us in His mind. So what does this have to do with the first verse I was talking about?

The Word. 

When you and I know understand what we have in knowing the worth and the power of God's Word, we are not easily moved to follow along like robots the ways or the pattern of this world. We experience the difficulties of life but we know that if we are transformed by the renewing of our mind, we do not stay stuck in that place of constantly remembering the past and all the heartaches connected to every painful experience. 

We are transformed when we know that God's Word is readily available to provide for us. He transforms us in our thoughts so that we are not like clothes that are hung in the closet, never used, and one day given or thrown away. Your life has a purpose even when life has not been what you imagined. Even when you made a poor choice that didn't get you what you wanted, God still wants to work in your life, in your thoughts, and in your memory. 

Do not linger in yesterday. Do not park your heart on the highway of a pattern that never changes and you never move forward into a new joyous life. There is life after every difficult situation you have come through. God has a new story. God has a new song for you. God has a new way of seeing life, but you are going to have to believe His Word. You will need to be transformed by the renewing of your mind with God's Word, not the pattern or the laws of this world that tell you to self destruct, self medicate, or stay in depression, or get even. No! God has a life full of purpose.

I think of the woman at the well. You know her. She went into a debate with Jesus about beliefs and ideas and Jesus cut to the chase and challenged her in her heart. He didn't want her to go to what she thought she knew. He tugged at her heart. He offered water that no one else could offer and deliver because He is the Life Giving Water Source. You know her story. She ran from the scene and she went and told everyone she met, "Come and see a man that told me everything I ever did!" She led the crowds to the Messiah and she stood with them to receive, to listen. 

This woman did not go back to obeying the rules of this world and start going over and over about her past. Jesus had already dealt with her past, face to face. This woman did not go from person to person repeating the same story over and over. Jesus had seen the pattern of her life and he changed the design of her pattern. He gave her a new story. She went from perhaps abused, mistreated, unloved, abused, mistreated, unloved, to acknowledged, love, worthy, acknowledged, love, worthy. The woman at the well did not go back to her home to think about her loss, her past failures, and what people thought about her. No. She allowed Jesus' love to renew her mind and her heart. She chose to abandon her complaints and her thirst for more in the hands of the one that said, "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every Word that comes from the mouth of God."

Photo from Kobo.com

God's Word satisfies. His Word quenches our thirst for being loved and belonging. His Word renews us by changing our routine of obeying the ways of this world, and renewing our minds with God's Word. It is the word of the Lord that transforms. Just like we preach to the addict, the prisoner, the junkie, and the person in any kind of sin to do an about face and start walking towards God, the same way, I ask you, renew your mind. Walk in the newness of life in Christ. 

Yes! I know. This is not for you because you have been a Christian, oh yeah, I know, your mom gave birth to you on the third row, in the front of the church as they sang. You have always been a born again believer so this renewing of your mind just does not pertain to you. Oh, but it does. If you find yourself wallowing in your past, remembering without end what you have gone through, your losses, the disappointments, and how this person owes you and that person should pay for what you went through, then maybe, hey, just maybe, you need to change the pattern of your thinking. Maybe the advice this world has offered and given you so far just has not worked. Maybe you need to believe that God's word is enough, more than a piece of bread. Maybe you are ready to realize that your survival and your sanity, your peace of mind and your ability to truly live again falls on your ability to surrender your life to the Lord and let Him place His mighty hand, His loving hand on your forehead and kiss away all the boo-boos. Our Heavenly Father is in the business of kissing our hurts away. He holds us when we cannot stop hurting because of what someone we once loved did to us. God holds us when we cannot forget and we cannot forgive. God embraces us with powerful arms when life has punched, kicked, and smacked us around more than a Karate class. 

I love the book of Isaiah. I love where it says:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past." Isaiah 43:18. 

The pattern of this world is to keep you going around and around and you never escape the circle of thoughts, the idea that you failed, the lie that you are not enough or unworthy of love. God's Word invited you and me to get off the bandwagon that follows everyone else and believe God's word for what He promises. 

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

God is doing something new. You will have to stop conforming to the pattern of this world. It is not going to lift you up. Only God can change your confusion to peace and your broken heart to restored. 

When we are transformed in our thought process, in what we choose to hold on to, to believe, to keep repeating or not repeating, then we will know and be able to walk in God's will. It will get a little easier. We will understand His ways. We will understand He has a better plan for us. Perhaps this has been the Lord's plan all along.

I would love to hear from you.

Lay Your Burdens Down

 By Angeline Duran Santiago

I've often wondered why so many of us do not receive healing in the deepest parts of our lives. I mean, we know the scriptures are full of promises for those who have chosen to believe. If believing was enough, then we would walk around completely whole, mentally, physically, and emotionally. But, as I speak to enough people, hurting people, I see what might be the underlying cause so many of them, so many of us, are not experiencing that walk of freedom promised by the Lord.

As I listen to people share, there is always a tendency to return to the past. The past is full of painful memories. We say we choose to forget the past. I think, and correct me if I am wrong in my assumption, that many of us hold on to that past that has caused the pain, the trauma, and the unease deep in our heart. Let me give you an example of what I see. Mind you, this is just my way of seeing it. I might be wrong. Or, perhaps, I can help you a little.

Most women and some men carry a bag of their choice. Perhaps a designer bag, a school bag, lunch bag, or a bag that carries their medical supplies. Others carry their weapons, their tools, of whatever they use for work or daily living inside that bag, on their shoulder, pulled by hand, on their back, or in the car. So many ways to pull that bag, or briefcase, computer bag, or whatever it is that we haul around. Every time I listen to someone share about their hurts, in my mind, I see their bag. For many, I see multiple bags. Light bags or super heavy ones that are difficult to pull. Still, even the smallest and weakest of the people I listen to, carry the burden in some form. 

Life is full of disappointments, heartaches, let downs and hurts. We have a tendency to return to those memories that remind us of our loss and what has hurt us the most. Hurting people hold on to what was done to them, what was taken away, and how they were abused and traumatized. Pain seems to be a living organism that grows right alongside our heart, feeding off our lifeline. 

What if? What if we could take that bag, that purse or backpack that weighs so powerfully on our minds and our emotions, and just dump it? What if we could take scripture literally and take every burden and just decide to lay it as the feet of Jesus? This way, each time life reminds you and me of what happened, we can remember that this pain, this load, and this devastating weight is not our to carry because God promised us that through the victory of the cross, Jesus has carried it all for you and me.

I am not making light of what you have gone through. So many have courageously lived through all kinds of assaults, abuse, and horrific events in their life. I would never imagine of belittling what you have experienced. Your pain is real. Your experience has sunk deep roots into your memories. And, you have placed all those excruciating moments into this bag you carry around with you wherever you go. It has gone with you, at times growing and becoming heavier, from childhood into your adult life. These bags have followed you from preschool into college. You have put them down and picked them up again from the early years of your adult life or marriage, and even in your golden years, as you comb your gray hairs, you look to your side and that bag lays on your bed or sits in your closet. That closet of your mind, those memories that refuse to be quiet and fight you back when you try to move on.

Today, I believe God invites us to give up these things we carry and bring them to Him. He is our rest. The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14 NIV

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV

There's a song that takes me that place where I see myself giving the Lord every care, every pain, and all of my burdens. They are many and I get tired of going back to them because they do not bless me but only weigh me down.

Feet of Jesus by Steven Curtis Chapman

Each time I listen to this song, I rise to imagine myself in a dance of surrendering everything that holds me back and giving it to God. I see myself understanding and accepting that God's love for me is greater than the fears that keep my thinking I cannot lay my heavy past down. God's acceptance of my broken heart is more powerful that the past I hold on to, greater than my pain and those memories of feeling I have wasted so much of my life and nothing matters. You and I matter so much to God and He sent Jesus to carry all of our burdens and pains on that cross who we do not have to log it around our remaining years. We can be free to know His love and his peace. We can feel light again in the knowledge that He sets us free. The Lord makes all things new. All things. New.

Will you lay your burdens down? Will you trust the Lord to carry you and hold you when you feel like you cannot make it another day because you are remembering again, reliving the pain and the betrayal again? Will you try to let God hold your heart when it hurts so much that it becomes hard to breathe. You feel like you cannot take another breath or another step and you crash to the ground because the weight of this load, this pain, these memories are so hard to let go of and they push you down hard. But, will you try to lay your burden, your pain, at the feet of Jesus? Will you see the hands of God stretch out and wait for you and me to take all these bags and just put them in his loving hands?

Lord, Tonight I recognize that I am tired and I can boldly say, "Life hurts." I feel all these horrible feelings and have all these crazy thoughts inside of me, like a war that fights against my peace and my joy. I know I cannot do this on my own. So, I bring it all to you. This is so hard because I just struggle to forget, to forgive, to move forward and believe that You are able to heal me and make me whole. God, this all hurts so bad at times. Be my healer, my deliverer, and my strength.

Lord, I need you and truth is that I just am not able to do this alone. I need the assurance of who your Word says you are to come and rescue me. Pull me out of this darkness, out of these haunting memories that do not allow me to live, to live the life you promise me. Bring me out of this pain and into your love. Fill me. Flood me with your love. Saturate my life and my heart and all I am with all of your love for you are love, you are peace and you are hope. You are all I need and I know this but sometimes it is so hard to hold on to you and experience the fulness of life and joy in you. 

Lord, make a way where my heart says that there is no way. Make a way and open the sea that pushes me forth out of the Egypt of my pain and my past and into the promises of your love. Lord, change me to believe and to walk in freedom. Let me see and understand what Jesus has done for me. Help me to see that His death has given me life. Help me to accept the restoration your life in me brings. Heal me. Free me. Forgive me. Help me walk according to your will.

In Jesus Name. I lay my bags down. I place all these burden down. 

Amen.

 

It would be awesome to hear your thoughts regarding what I have shared.