Be Bold!

I want to say that I have always been bold. I would be lying. My courage has always been enclosed in a chrysallis that has remained unchangeable, holding me hostage for a duration of years. Yup, that's why there are no butterfly wings on me. It doesn't me I completely failed to metarmorphosized, it just didn't happen overnight. I had to go through a lot of life moments to one day just blurt it out and say, "I am going to do this, whatever this is, even if it kills me." Seriously, I thought I would die, too. But, alas, here I am, living and breathing, but no longer afraid that my world will come crashing down if I dard to accept a challenge, do what I love, or try something new. The choice to be bold came with a price. Sweaty palms, a frozen mouth, feet unable to move, and words that refused to come out when I stared into the crowd. The headache and the sick feeling in my stomach were all signs that I wanted to run away, but I pushed myself and stuck it out, standing there, unable to utter anything intelligent. Thank God for next time, because I swore that next time I would not faint, I would not freeze up, and even if I spilled my guts out in front of the entire group, I was going to be bold and just do it. Being bold didn't happen overnight. I swear I wanted to be more courageous but it was ever so difficult. I was not shy about some things, like helping my mom or doing something for others. It was that moment of speaking before a group, acting out before a group, or making a friend that terrified me. I felt unable and that the effort would not be worth it. Then, I found words that changed my entire demeanor. I began to read a Bible that I had and I could not put it down. For a few years, I read and accepted it all as something amazing and that the stories were encouraging. But, it wasn't until later on in my teens when I understood that the God of the Bible had a plan for my life, and wanted to connect with me, that the words truly began to make sense.

I wanted to succeed in school. I wanted to write. I wanted to dance and sing and heck, I wanted to be able to not faint at the thought of speaking in front of a group! I wanted to be a teacher and all these fears of not being good enough or smart enough were holding me back. Then, I read the scriptures and it was as if someone was inside of my heart and knew exactly what I was struggling with. The fear of not belonging, not being accepted, not being heard, and not being good enough to make it through an audition or an interview. The question was loud and clear. "Have I not commanded you?" This was an order. The God who said He loved me and had created me with purpose chose to speak out, speak loudly into my world of fears and complications. He was asking me to remember all the scriptures I had been reading since childhood. Was I going to have what it took to respond to this question? "Be strong." How could God ask me or tell me to be strong when all I felt was weak in the knees and a stuttering mess? To be strong meant I was going to have to push through all my emotional issues and take a step forward.God was not asking me. He was directing me to be strong. Strong- secure, indestructable, impenetrable, tough, resistant, resilient, long-lasting and enduring. But, not just be strong. "Be strong and courageous." The joke seemed to be on me because I rarely had the guts to believe I could say anything worth lifting up your head to listen to. The words were clear. courageous- bravery, plucky, fearless, valor, lion hearted, bold, daredevil, adventurous, audacious, unflinching, unafraid, spirited, resolute, gutsy, spunky, determined, and ballsy. I was being told to be bold and put in practice the art of good courage. To me I interpreted this as teh courage do to do what was right, even if not everyone saw it for something good, but I was going to do it. I took the dreams in my heart, the assignments I had, the things I wanted to do and what I had to do and I chose to believe the scriptures concering everything I did in my life after learning the command of this verse to my life. I chose to not be afraid or dismayed. No matter if I was terrified of the outcome, of what others would think about me, or the consequences. I would be the opposite of fearless and dismayed. I would be bold and brave. I would put aside that nervous feeling that came, and even if I was shaking inside, I would take the next step forward and not be dismayed. How could I do what seemed impossible? How could I audition in front of trained artists? How could I preach in the streets? How could I talk about Jesus and attempt to teach the scriptures to those who had been raised in church and had gone to Bible school? How could I share my presentation in college and speak in front of a group of students? How would I get through an interview without dying a million times and then some more times afterwards? "For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." When these words, that the Lord my God was going to show up and be with me wherever I went, this became the game changer that eradicated my fears and turned me into a crazy girl who was going to be full of the God kind of courage to live her life. I danced away my fears. I sang away my shackles. I spoke outloud and shared my story of redemption just as fearless as I stood in my college classroom and presented the projects given to me alone or in a group. The moment it was engraved in me that God empowers his children to do great things during difficult situations, I knew I had nothing to fear because I would never think I was all alone again. Here I had the Creator of the Universe promising to stand with me in front of a classroom or a church. The Lord was declaring His love for me and walking into an interview with me and filling my heart with courage to speak with confidence and show that I had my stuff together. That is what God does. He gives us the boldness and the courage to face every fear and push through the hard events we prefer would go away. God shows up in the hospital room and says to his children, "Do not be afraid. I am with you. I am here." The Lord shows up in the courtroom and tells his children,"Be strong and of good courage, do not be dismayed because you are not going through the motions alone. I am right besides you. Look and see." The Lord is present when all hell breaks lose in a family gathering and there are misunderstandings and hurtful words exchanged. God reminds us to not be afriad to speak, Be of good courage to be a peacemaker, to forgive and fix the situation. God is with us there to help us through every battle and every challenge. God walks with us when we are pacing in the emergency room hallway and cannot even pray. His word tells us to remember his commands. The King of Kings, the One with all authority and power is telling us to not squirm or be wimpy. Do not shrink back. Do not fall apart. Do not speak negatively. Just believe. Believe you have what you need to face this difficult moment. The NIV translation says, "Do not be discouraged." My friend, do not quit. Do not give up hoping and trusting the Lord because God is not abandoning you when you have a hard time to do something hard. Believe. Today, I am not that child, teen, or young adult afraid to do what God placed in my heart to do. Today, I just do what I have to do because I live with the assurance that God accompanies me and helps me in everything I do. He can do the same for you but you are going to have to trust Him. You are going to have to be ballsy and gutsy and speak with confidence that God has your back. We are not alone. Will you believe that the Mighty God says He is going to be with you, He is going to go with us wherever we go. Wherever you go. I put my hope in the One that says He is with me. Might you consider doing the same? I am not saying life is not going to disappoint, or that it would hurt. I cannot promise that sometimes things just do not happen as we wish. But, whether life is going well, or the walls around us are falling apart, we have the promise that in the midst of the joy and the sorrow, wherever we go, God, El Shaddai, is with us. I'd love to know your thoughts. If you share with me, I will always respond. God loves you. God bless.