Tuesday, January 14, 2014


Whether you claim to have a model marriage or need help, here are some things to meditate on.


There's no reason or excuse for a husband or wife to spend private time on the phone texting, sexting, or chatting away with a so called friend of the opposite sex. Late night hour conversations that remain private and secretly hidden mean your interests in this person is not professional or ministry related. The only person you should be talking to late at night is to the love of your life. Opening the door to someone that makes you feel good, is easy to talk to and you're only sharing viewpoints on life and love, is an invitation for disaster. If you really value your spouse, do not entertain any other person with your private time on your cell. 


Do you have the kind of occupation, responsibility at work or church that requires you to travel and meet with people through the day, sometimes one on one? Share with your spouse the things that happen at work so that if someone comes to them in private to speak wrongfully of you, he or she will already know and shut this person down. You want your spouse on your side. If you begin to hide events in your life and keep to yourself, many times, the only reason you are keeping things hushed is because you want it to remain so. The best way is to live with nothing to hide. Allow your spouse to be a part of what you do.


You chose your husband or wife out of thousands of people in your life. At one point, all your could see or look forward to was being with this person. Now that you're married, why has it changed? One way to protect your marriage is to always brag about the love of your life in public and private. If this special person is a big deal in all you do, there will not be much opportunity for someone to come flirting with you and win. They will try, but you will be so busy always complimenting and making a big deal about the one you love that the door to temptation will be very hard to open.


The saying, "Once a cheater (or liar) always a cheater (or liar)" comes from hearts betrayed over and over and being able to identify negative characteristics in the ones they once trusted. There should be such an open book communication between a husband and wife that the idea of being lied to is far away if not obsolete. Why do we lie to one another? Why do we cheat? Why do we flirt or play with fire? If you honor truth, you walk in integrity. Embracing the lifestyle to walk right before the Lord and your spouse will spare you from much heartache and defeat. If you truly love your husband/wife, then don't lie and don't flirt. 


The famous Heatwave song, Always and Forever, should be an endless melody reminding us of how we should feel daily. We should be looking forward to coming together at the end of the day to share a meal, watch a movie or hold one another as we fall asleep. Intimacy should be welcomed and desired, always. Communicating throughout the day lays the foundation of expectation, keeping our hearts in anticipation as we think of the one we love all day. Even in our difficulties at work or when we're sick, we're not afraid of anything because we have this person in our lives that is committed to us, each day. Through sickness and health- always and forever. In good times and bad- always and forever. When there's steak in the fridge or only french fries and eggs- always and forever.


An unrepentant heart and lifestyle doesn't know what "I'm sorry" means. The act of betrayal and deceit is like second nature and a person can learn to keep doing the same mistakes as if their life is on an never ending roller coaster ride. It's nice to hear an apology. The apology needs to signify change, a sincere U turn and an acknowledgment that someone was hurt through your careless actions and now your marriage is broken, bleeding and coming undone. Forgiveness releases us to have peace in our hearts. The truth is we will still need time to heal, learn to trust again, (if ever) and we don't forget. 

So, before you walk into a situation in your life where you are going to be saying, "I'm sorry" a hundred times and more, stop and pray. Think about your children, your family, your future and your own heart. Meditate on what you will lose if you take one more step into the car with that married man. Think about who you are hurting before you accept and invitation to meet with someone that is not your wife. You may get to mess up and then say you're sorry, but the memory of your intentional, adult decision will bring isolation, pain, and such regret.


This one if for those who say, "I've given my life and my marriage to the Lord." Don't just pray, read your Bible and sing praise songs when you are in church. No. It's what you do in private that will be easy to reflect in your public life. If your life if full of Christ in your home and He is truly the foundation of your home, that life will reflect in all you do, everywhere you go. Your kids and family will know if it's a show in church or family gatherings. 

Your husband/wife needs you to be for real. Either God's word is engraved in your heart and your intimate, private life is bare to the world or it is not. Pray together as a couple and pray with your children. Don't wait to be in church to pray. Talk about issues that are a concern to you, things that bother you or are affecting your relationship. Read the Bible together as a married couple and a family. Let your spouse know your heart because it is filled with God's love and presence. Let him/her know you love them and appreciate them and that there's no one else for you but them.

Last Point:

Lastly, don't think that because you're a Christian, a believer, a devout person of faith, a pastor, a preacher, evangelist or person of great influence and prestige that you are not vulnerable to messing up. Infidelity happens wherever two people agree to play the game. So, before you look to the side to see if the grass is really greener on the other side, buy a super water hose and learn to water the garden you planted the day you stood before God and said, "I Do."

You may also want to read:

5 Ideas To Visit In Marriage

Lord, My Marriage Is In Your Hands

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