MARRIAGE UNDER ATTACK

 Written By Angeline M Duran Santiago

Many couples are struggling in their marriage. There are choices to make. Do we continue this way and when do we make the decision to stop trying to fix what is broken? If you're a person who has decided to live life according to Scripture principles and your faith in the God of Scriptures, then your views and your decisions are connected with the counsel presented by the Lord's Word. You tend to lean and place your hope in His Word because past experience has proven that God is true, He is faithful and His ways are always best. But, what do we do when the struggle seems to last for years? What do we do when it all seems one sided and you feel alone in the battle to restore and let God do what only He can do in your life?


I've learned early on in life that when life hurts and answers are few, there is only one place I can turn to. God is my hiding place and the only secure place to run to when the rains of life keep coming and your umbrella is broken. Our hearts go through some heavy duty searching. We feel alone, abandoned, and unwanted. Many times in a relationship, there is only silence and the communication is only when necessary. A simple yes, no or nod become the only means of dialogue and sometimes, not even those simple words exist because the world we create and continue to live in survives in the silence of our words. 


You may ask someone, "Well, are the times we are spending in counsel helping in any way?" "Do you look forward to the time others are pouring into our lives so that our world can change for the better?" The response never changes. "I'm not doing this now." "Don't start again." "I'm not in the mood for you." Silence. The wall gets thicker, wider and taller. The person in the marriage that continues to invest time to see if anything changes and the person that is always pouring of herself or himself into the relationship to see if anything is worth saving is once more torn apart. You shrink back. Your world becomes one sided again. 




When you are left to fend for yourself, what do you do? Where do you go? You realize that once again, the Enemy that has never ceased to bombard your life, your family and your environment, has once more been given the open door to meddle. Instead of coming together to pray and seek the Lord and His direction through your situation, avoiding one another and building walls with silence are just a welcome mat to the Enemy of our souls. 

If you want your relationship to prosper, you have to talk to one another. This whole silence thing doesn't work. If you really want things to get better, then you have to make a decision to either believe in God's power to do what only He can do, as you put your faith in Him as a couple or you surrender, put up your while flag and allow the Enemy to complete his work of destruction and walk away the victor. We complain. We bring up the past. We live holding on to grudges. God wants us to put yesterday in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it away. 


Why do we hold on to hurts, quarrels, moments of disappointment and our pride? If you truly love someone, you forgive. Scriptures say that Love covers a multitude of sins. God is LOVE. If God an His love is covering our sins, why do we continue to nurture and feed the past in our thoughts?

 God is powerful enough to give us a new beginning. He heals the hurts, the mess ups in our lives and He is there to lead us by the hand, every step of the way. Do you really want to save your marriage? Do you really want to share your life with this person who is at your side? Is this person someone you truly want to see every day and enjoy life with? Then you have to step up to the plate and make a choice. Will you choose God's presence in your life to help you through the trauma you have faced in your past? 




Will you choose God's Word over every other word and speak God's word  into your life, your home, your daily situation even when you still feel hurt and broken? Are you ready to take your place in the battlefield of your marriage and do what you must to restore, take back what the Enemy has stolen and broken, and fight for your relationship? Or, will you continue with your pride, your attitude and your dependence on your way and not God's ways?


If you love, then show love. If you need love, then understand that your significant other needs that love also. If you want and need to be heard, then learn to listen. If you want to feel important, then make that other person important in your life and let them know they mean the world to you as well. Invest with your time, your hugs, your words, your ears and your heart. The person in your life that continues to give you a second chance, that continues to pray with you and wait for God to work in your life is hurting also. 

Today is the perfect day to turn to the Lord if you haven't completely done so already. It is the day to surrender everything to the Lord. He is my strength. He is your strength. He is your helper. He will not abandon you. Find your help and encouragement in the presence of the Lord. I know what it's like to feel alone and I have used those moments to discover that I am not alone. God is every present. God's love will fill your life when you feel lonely and afraid. God will direct you and show you what to do and what not to do. Even when you make mistakes, and boy do we have a tendency to make many of those, God's grace and mercy will be there to lead you back on to the right path. Will you trust Him?


 Will you take your crumbling marriage and place it on the altar? Will you trust God once more? I write this because I need to tell the Lord over and over again, "I will trust You." "I give this to you, once more." "I wait on You." If you believe in God's word, then you also will cry out to the Lord and let Him lead you.


 

Lord,
Today I lift up every marriage relationship that is struggling and going through difficulties. I place before you every marriage, including mine, that is facing opposition and attacks from the Enemy. I ask You to give couples a heart and a hunger to seek You and your Spirit to fill their homes, their lives and their walk at every moment of their lives. Give us the wisdom and guidance needed to make the right choices, above all, guard our actions and our words. Forgive us, Lord, for not making you our priority when times get hard. 





Be with us as we push forward and trust you to make all things new, better, and the way they should be. Be our strength, our help, our comfort. Heal the hurts and the misunderstandings. Let us be examples to our children in our actions and our words. Let your presence fill our homes. 


 
Lord, forbid the Enemy to have any place in our environment, in our home, in our thoughts and in our family. Empower us to fight against the attacks that come to destroy our family, our home and what you have done in our lives. Enable us to see and perceive when the Enemy is attempting to come against us. Make our home a sanctuary and a place where you dwell. I ask for you to pour out your peace and your love.




Holy Spirit, 
Have your way in our lives. Be the center and the focus of each marriage. Lord, let many couples find hope and restoration in your presence today. Lord, destroy the work of the Enemy, his lies, his insults and his word against marriage and families. Heal what has been broken and unite what has fallen apart. I ask for your intervention in every home that is struggling, fighting, and ready to quit. In Jesus name, do a new work starting today.
Amen.