When you're young, just starting your life either in a career, marriage or maybe college, life seems so long, filled with purpose, promise and strength. As we take that first step into our destination, we quickly become wrapped up in that new world and do not see or sense the hours, the months, and the years pass us by. Before we know it, we've worked in the same place for ten years, have a home with children and have gained a few pounds. (Well, at least I know I did.) All in all, we don't really see the years that have gone by and how we cannot return to that first moment of "I do." or getting the job, or even giving birth to your first child. Time has not only continued on without your permission, it has never stopped and as you ponder your present, your wins and your losses, the truth is, Time doesn't stop to give you "time" to take an inventory of your current status to see where you are and where you are going.
It's here where I want to be specific with our wasted time. I write to someone who is a believer. I write these words to someone who has invested time in believing in the Word of God and in the Power of His Word. We've spent years trying to live our lives correctly, but in the process, we've also spent years trying to figure things out, fighting and hurting through it all. Time has passed us by and we've wasted precious time holding on to pain, carrying burden and grudges, filing away the awful memories of our past into the cabinet of our mind. And all that time wasted has been time that God has been waiting for us to come before him and give it all to Him.
I confess that for a long time I thought I was handling all of these issues the right way. I've prayed, learned the scriptures for each situation and confessed my trust in the Lord. But, I also confess that most of the time I have gone about many moments in my life incorrectly. I've stood in the battlefield of the hurt that was hurled against me. For many years my mind wasted space reliving what was said or done to me by those that were supposed to be the spiritual leaders in my life. It took a long time to be able to get up and get going. Again, time wasted when all God wanted me to do was walk in Him and move forward. God didn't want me to ignore the pain, but if I knew Him and was trusting in Him, then my assignment was to walk surrender it all to the Lord and not invest time in remembering, reliving or staying away from life.
Today I can tell you that at this time in my life where I'm half way to one hundred years old, that I think I finally got it.
I think.
I hope so.
I'm trying to live like I truly do.
I don't want to live wasting any more time when God has made things so clear by providing us with the strategies and the tools to get through this maze called life. The Lord has provided words, instructions and the help to lead and guide us through this puzzle of a life we have on a daily basis.
Therefore, I'm determined to look for all the ways to make the rest of my days with meaning and purpose beyond that which I already thought I had or knew how to attain. I've decided to learn and practice more the discipline of prayer, seeking God's presence and making time to have communion with Him. I wasted time trying to get to know people or connect with people in ministry when the only connection I truly need is being committed and in tune with the heart of God.
I've done it all.
I've done nothing.
I haven't done enough.
My goal is to put aside all that I need to in order to truly grasp God's will and purpose for my life.
Prayer is that key that unlocks the hidden agendas we've not been able to read.
Prayer will become the resource to keep me updated with heavenly memos of what to do and what my next steps should be.
There are so many things I still need the Lord to guide me and I believe I will never truly know all things in regards to my next steps. But, God is faithful and I believe that I seek Him, He will make His purpose known, maybe one day at a time.
Lord, give me the heart and the patience to wait upon you. I know in my heart that your word is true and that I need to believe completely, never doubting. I believe that your promises can come to happen in my lifetime. Help me to believe and have faith when all I seem to believe is that you are at work in the big stuff but absent in the small things of life. Healing is maybe one of those things that are so easy for you, but I've yet to see it completely manifested in so many lives around me. I know you can do so much, but Lord, give me the daily word to hold on and surrender to you and you alone.
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