Too many Lord. Too many have walked away and fallen away. Too many.
And why? How? When did it become the style to decide who can enter the church or who can belong to a church. Someone says you can't go their church walk away because most likely, God's not there anyway. You see the church, believers, belongs to Jesus. Funny how the Bible clearly says that we, believers in Jesus Christ, we are His church. God has come to establish His presence and His kingdom in our hearts, in us. We, the people, we are the church.
For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
(Romans 12: 4,5)
So, you don't want to go back to church because of the many things that have been done to you?
I understand your anger and your hurt. But, when you say you're not going back to church , what are you really referring to, the church made up of walls, windows and bricks can't do a thing to allow God's presence to become real in your life. The building, the sign, the instruments, and certainly not the people that go to church with a worldly mentality about what having church is, cannot and will not help you in your growth or victory in the Lord.
God wants to establish His Word deep in your heart so that no matter where you are, even in prison, He is there with you. You can have a song in the hardest night. You can have comfort when you are very sick. God will open up heaven and pour out His presence if you will seek Him with all your heart, and you can be on the beach, in the shower, or having coffee on the train.
Walls cannot hold God's Spirit. People cannot limit His Presence and you and I shouldn't either. You don't want to go back to church, then don't. Give it time. Wait. Go back to restoring and building your RELATIONSHIP with GOD. Return to reading HIS WORD and seeking His will for your life. Then, He will show you with whom to get together for fellowship as a body of believers. The Lord will guide you to a building, a home, an underground church or a tent where believers are desiring God like you or even more than you.
Too many don't want anything to do with "Church" but what I think they're really saying is they don't want to deal with people in church. This is why I remind you that your walk is a walk of faith with Jesus. People in church didn't die on a cross for you. They don't have the power to forgive sins, to heal the hurts in you, or fill you with God's presence. So, no more saying, "I won't go back! I can't go back!" The only place you need to go back to is Calvary.
Go back to God's heart fully living in yours. Go back to His Holy Spirit speaking to you and showing you the way. Go back to being a living, breathing, walking church and you'll soon see, the rest will come in God's timing as you walk in Him. Be the church. Yes. Let us be the church, God's church wherever we are.
I welcome your comments and feedback. This is my personal opinion based on my personal experience and experience with people for years, working with them and helping them be restored after going through so much in church.