Friday, August 30, 2013

Lord, My Marriage is in Your Hands

A soft breeze sneaks in through the kitchen window, making the old lace curtains sway back and forth as if fanning themselves for comfort from the muggy warmth filling the kitchen. The sun rose a few hours ago but the sky seems unable to recognize it. Clouds still hover by somehow announcing rain. The drip, drip, dripping of wet clothes hanging from the upstairs clothesline falls heavily on the metal window awning that covers my kitchen window.

I am not alone. Everyone is still in bed. The rooms are dimly lit as some daylight struggles to push through uneven window blinds. It's going to rain. I feel it. The light passing through is so weak, one would think it's getting ready to be nighttime, not the start of a new day.

Reaching the last bedroom, I see him. He is sleeping. I don't know if he smells the coffee I hold in my hands. It's very warm. I love it really hot and he likes it just right, warm but not so hot it burns your lips. He is in dreamland and I wonder if I should wake him.

My eyes remain upon him. He has worked so hard all week. When overtime was offered, he was quick to say, "Yes." He thought of our children, the home, the bills. He thought of me. Of us. 

At one point, I didn't believe in us any more.Disappointments and misunderstandings can turn into hurts and unforgiveness.  So many times I just wanted to let go and start anew. Then, the Lord would remind me, as He is doing now, "I am doing a new thing. Can you perceive it?"

The Lord that forgives me expects me to have a heart that is willing and able to forgive.

The Lord that lifts me up when I am down desires me to be willing to lift someone that is discouraged, up to a place of feeling wanted, strong and able to go on. I look at my husband and wonder, "Lord, how did you do it? How did you bring us back together when we were falling apart? How did you restore the love when all I felt was hurt? 

When did our love become stronger and it felt like we couldn't live unless we were together?" You see, that is what started to happen when I surrendered it all to the Lord and today, the truth is, I don't know if we can ever be separated. The Lord has brought healing, restoration and so much in us that I know God can do for you, too.

The things we did that once kept us close like prayer and trusting the Lord together became ancient in our busy days filled with work and family. They pulled us apart. We have to go back to placing the Lord first. When God is in the center of our family it is impossible to fail. At least that is what I believe. It is what I see and am living.

Placing down the cups of coffee on the opened ironing board, love fills my heart and compassion for my husband overtakes me. We expect a prince and a king when we get married but no man really knows how to play the part. Our expectations can easily be destroyed if we are not able to be content with just being loved in the only way our husband knows how to love. 

I sit next to him and place my hand on his shoulder. "Coffee time....Do you want some coffee?" A huge smile opens upon his face. Beautiful eyes, the eyes I have always loved looking into open up and he turns towards me. "Good morning,honey" making an ugly face,  he says, "Of course I want coffee!" 

As I begin to get up to go get the cups, big arms grab me down and he tackles me down into a bear hug. This is his romantic way of saying thank you and I wouldn't want it any other way. "Do you want me to get something else for the coffee?" he asks. "I made some goodies and left them on a plate on the kitchen counter if you want to get them." He gets up quickly, throwing my collection of pillows on top of me and goes off to get the plate. 

Outside my window, the strong pitter patter of raindrops have begun and I open the window blinds to observe the falling rain. Let it rain, Lord. Fill the earth with your love. Rain here in our home. Let showers of love and mercy rain in our hearts. Reign in us, Lord.

My husband is not perfect. Neither am I. We've had many ups and downs, times of great disappointment and times of amazing rejoicing and celebration. Through it all, he is still the King (So he says) and I am his Queen ( my peasant) he calls me to bother me. He makes me laugh and that's what I love most.I don't know how your relationship or marriage is. I don't know where you feel it is right now. If it's breaking apart, going through uncertainty, or everything is great only you know this.  Love one another and accept one another the way each one is. Don't try to change the other person. Receive their love for you. And if they're still making you smile, having pillow fights, stealing kisses around the kids, or just enjoying coffee and snacks in bed while it pours outside, then chances are you can work things out. 

We have. And we will continue to work through our difficult times, not because we know it all, but because we have placed our relationship in God's hands. That's a safe place and a sure place to keep us strong.

Sometimes we expect love to look a certain way when real love is staring us right in the face in an unexpected way. If something has happened in your marriage, may our story inspire you to believe, turn to the Lord and have faith that God can heal broken hearts and pour showers of love, that can make new seeds of love flourish strongly and forever. 

If in any way our story can help you in your marriage, then it has been worth sharing, if only for one couple. Don't give up on your marriage until you've prayed and waited on the Lord. The best is yet to come!

#marriage #christianmarriage #forgiveness #restoration #marriagerestoration #christiancounseling #healing #couples #marriageintervention



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