Friday, January 10, 2014


Many relationships face difficult moments. Strong couples experience a drought in their marriage or misunderstanding. You don't need to be a person of faith to acknowledge that temptations show up to test where you stand,  and opposition shows up from unexpected places. Work, bills and providing for a growing family, including children,  changes the dynamics of your relationship.

There are choices to make when you come to a place called, the desert, in your marriage. You make a plan on how to confront the parched areas in your relationship. Some people seek counseling, either with a minister or professional marriage counselor. Others take a step back to see where in their journey they took the wrong turn and look for ways to revitalize their commitment to one another. 

The search begins to find your way out of the desert and back into the cool waters of life.

Sadly, the breakdown of marriages happens when we hold the tools of destruction close to our hearts. It begins with a lack of commitment, becoming emotionally attached to the opposite sex and calling it friendship, secretly texting and on the phone with someone else, or living like your spouse no longer exists. Drifting begins. All the signs of infidelity and death are before you and still, many times, so many hold on, praying and waiting.

The questions begin. 
Where did I mess up? How can I fix this? Have I done all I can to make it work? A person who prays may go into times of prayer, asking the Lord to make them the person their husband or wife needs. They pray for their spouse and ask the Lord to work in their hearts and minds. Sadly, their counterpart remains unmoved, unmotivated, and too involved in themselves to see what everyone else sees. 

There is no shame in letting go. You've tried all you can. You've put up with the lies, the unfaithfulness, forgiving time and time again. You've followed your heart and all the advice to renew and strengthen your marriage. 

When will you look into your spouse's eyes and see that it has been over for a long time and you're the only one still holding on to hope. Don't get me wrong, please, please. I've known of couples that God has completely restored and healed their marriage relationship. Miracles happen daily. 

Whatever you decision is, only you can make it. If you decide to give your marriage one more chance or if you take the steps to bring it to an end, know that there is no shame in breaking free from a loveless relationship. 

Only God can change people. We cannot. Only a person that wants to change and devote themselves to their spouse knows the truth behind their apologies. Find someone who will help you make the right decisions through this moment of great change in your life. Know that if you trust the Lord to see you through, He will and He will be with you always. Healing will come as you allow your heart to forgive, not blame yourself. Regain your self worth by remembering how amazing, special and wonderful you have always been and that you are so worthy of being loved. 

 There is shame only in the person that has dealt wrongfully towards you, used you, abandoned and hurt you. Life has been on hold, on stand by. Don't allow lack of forgiveness, hurts and bitterness to become your next relationship. Forgive and move on. You may not forget, but healing will come if you trust the Lord to renew and restore you. 

Opening the door and walking towards freedom is new life in the making.

#marriage #divorce #separation #breakup #infidelity #adultery #affair #sexting #textingaffair #cheating #spouseabuse #neglect #freedom #God



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