Monday, February 3, 2014


For many ladies, Valentine's is one more anniversary celebrating your marriage or relationship. Many spend time getting pretty for their special date only to be shocked and let down once you realize that what your husband planned was nothing to what you had imagined. It doesn't take long to see that your date was planned last minute and the whole fairy tale you had rehearsed in your mind for the past two weeks, has turned into a great disappointment. Rage enters the room. Angry words are exchanged, and before the night has begun, you're heading home in silence.

For many, Valentine's Day is filled with anxiety and false expectation all for failure to communicate and plan ahead of time. We expect men to read our minds instead of being plain and simple about what our desires on planning a special, romantic evening.

Husbands don't want to fail their wives. They really want to go out of their way for you but most of them don't know how to do it. There is also the fear of not being able to give you what you want, not because they don't love you or think you're not worth it, but the reality is that there are financial burdens on those men you love so dearly. They've seen the emails, the texts, the face book pics and the little hints you've left around the home in regards to what would make the perfect gift. For many, they will end up secretly overloading their credit cards just to see you smile. "I'm worth it!" you say, and yes, you are. But, is your marriage and relationship worth sacrificing to where financial problems become a wall between you?

Maybe it's time for wives to get creative. What can you do to make this day of love an amazing event? First of all, talk with your husband and make a plan. Maybe he has some things he wants to do to make your day special, too. Don't make fun of his ideas, or belittle his gestures of love as he goes out of his way for you on the 14th. You're an amazing woman because God has given you wisdom, creativity, and that special gift to make everything you plan, amazing. Don't make it about the gift, make it about creating that amazing time you've longed for with your husband for a long time. 

Start planning early. Go through your linens, curtains, towels, and household appliances to see what you have that is romantic, beautiful, special and with touches of those special Valentine colors you love. Begin to rearrange your home , early in February, and set the mood and atmosphere in your home for love. Change the curtains. Put out the pretty china with some flowers. Put your prettiest blanket or bedspread on your bed with lots of pillows. Maybe a breakfast tray with goodies on the side of the pillows. Light scented candles when you know your hubby is coming home. Setting the atmosphere can lead to a wonderful time together on Valentine's Day. Plan it.

If you're getting a gift, be honest and discuss any financial obligations before buying that latest TV, Cell phone or gadget for your man. Big gifts don't prove your love for your mate. A smaller gift from the heart will not decrease the greatness of your affection. Sometimes all a man wants is you. There I said it. Sit with him. Watch the game with him. Yes, be bored for a while with him. But, give him the gift of you attention, your best homemade meal, and your listening ear.

Well, you can leave it up to your husband to plan the whole night out. Or, you can take the initiative and plan yourself. If your budget allows a night out on the town, then God bless you! Go and have fun. If you want to be savvy with your spending, then put together something small but filled with love. Plan together. Don't leave it to chances or surprises all the time. Plan for a beautiful night.

I don't have to give you ideas, because you are a woman, gifted, smart, and so able to make a night unforgettable. I do hope you will take the time to share your heart. Don't live your married life in silence or wondering, "What if?" If you're going through tough times in your marriage, maybe this is the way to open up and discuss what's affecting your relationship. Agree to talk and respect one another's feelings. Agree to not argue, say hateful words, or end the night with a fight. Pray together and ask the Lord to bless your time together. Forgive and invite healing to flow. 

The perfect gift for your husband on Valentine's day is to make him feel special. So, make some wishes come true. Ask him what is one thing he'd love to get from you. It just might be a special dinner. Anything else, that's between you two. 

I pray in some way you can start planning your special day so that you're not disappointed but happy. Go. Go get beautiful and gorgeous and wow him when he gets home. But, plan. Planning keeps us from ending up with crushed spirits and broken hearts. No one is perfect but if we take the time to speak and plan, you can be sure the night will be filled with magic from start to finish.

Happy Valentine's Day



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