Tuesday, June 17, 2014

WORDS

By Angeline M Duran Santiago


I don't think we realize the power of the words we so loosely choose to use each day when we speak to the people in our lives.

We spit out words, big and powerful words, as easy as opening and closing the refrigerator door when we have a desire for some milk or juice.

Lately, I wonder if we just speak the words because we have become so accustomed to saying them, and if in becoming used to using them, we've become numb to what these words truly mean. I think some of us have forgotten the purpose of language and communication. We've forgotten words have the power to change governments, world powers, and how someone feels after a long and hard day's work.


Let me give you an example of what I am talking about.
The word, love. Someone says, "I love you." I would like to know if they truly know what they are expressing.
At work someone says they love you after you helped them in some way. A person bestows kindness upon you on the street and you're so touched by their goodness you to tell them you love what they've done for you. You get ready to go to sleep and hug your child and tell them you love them, truly love them. A husband is getting ready to say good bye during the end of the phone conversation and says he loves you just before hitting the "end call" button.


Is it a habit? Is it something you just get so used to saying that you say it because it's what you've grown used to saying? Do you get what I am trying to say? Then, here's what I am bothered.

If you say you love me then where is the demonstration of your love? Telling someone you love them, but not showing them through your actions is like saying nothing at all. We all have our own love language. Some of us expect different things. Some people expect expensive gifts and constant show of love through presents and never ending purchases. I don't think I could ever be like that. I've learned early in life, love can't be bought with gifts, but only shown  through the sincerity of our actions, regardless of how big or small they may be.

An example of love language to me is knowing what a person needs, before they say it, or regardless if they share their need. I see their necessity and go out of my way to help them, meet the need, assist them, help them some how, and alleviate a burden. I often look at my parents and I believe they are perfect examples of love in action. I don't need to hear them say how much they love me, or us as a family, because their actions are continuously affirming that sentiment.

Mom would come over and see how overwhelmed I was when my children were small. I would be trying to clean the house, cook, do laundry, and on the table I'd have homework I was working on, (because I was in college as a new mom) and on the bed I had my work, my books and lesson plans, (because I had started to work as a teacher). She'd walk in and never undermine or belittle me. She'd either continue the dinner I'd started, do dishes, continue my laundry, or take the kids for awhile to give me time to do what I needed. My dad would walk in and if the garbage was full, he'd take it out. If groceries were missing, he'd go and get me some groceries without asking. If something was broken or needed fixing, he'd go get his tools, and silently begin hammering away. To me, these were the greatest moments when they were silently shouting, "I LOVE YOU!"


Words are powerful. Yes, they are.
Love is a powerful word.
But, please do not keep saying you love me when every day your actions disprove what the dictionary tells me love means. If you love me, show me. I don't need the diamonds, the name brand accessories, the luxury car or the million dollar house. (Yes, they would be nice to have, maybe one gold ring lol), but, truth is, I'm tired of words. 

Love says, "I will do my part so that you're not doing your part and all the extra."
Love says, "I will remember what you need."
Love says, "I won't forget to provide for your needs."
Love remembers to keep promises, your part of the bargain, your pact and your pinky crossed deals.
Love doesn't say you're always tired, forgetful, and just standing idly by.

Because I love my children, I work, I continue to educate myself, I continue to work hard each day. I take time to help them as I can. I listen. I listen to their jokes and watch movies with them I wouldn't watch on my own. But, they're important to them so they will be important to me.

Because I love my children, I love football, youtube funny videos, wrestling and all the books they share with me.

I love my children, so even when I am tired I will come home and cook. Even when I want to be in bed, I will sit with them or go out to sit in the park. I will save my money to buy them what they need and put their needs before mine, not because it's a sacrifice, but because loving them means I will also provide and make sure their needs are met.

Love.
Love is a big word.
I don't want to use it so loosely.

I may not truly even know what it means.
My perception of words may be totally wrong.

For God so loved the world....
For God so loved the world I am in...
For God so loved me, my kids, my parents, my family, my friends, and my neighbors, near and far that He gave His only son...
A love that gave and was willing to die because of His love,
A love that saw my future suffering and decided to take it upon himself instead,
A love that saw what tomorrow had in store for me and decided to carry my pain, my burdens, to alleviate my dark moments by carrying my shame upon himself,
Because He SO loved YOU and ME.

So, I will leave it here. Before you say, "I love you." Meditate and measure the weight and power of the word love and then you will be mindful of all your words, positive, negative, with love, or filled with anger.

Words. 
Let us not be so quick to spew them, but slow to speak them.
Let us not be quick to speak them without counting the consequences.
Words.
Don't say you love or are a person of love if your actions say, "Liar! Not true! Impossible!" The world looks at us and listens to us and knows who and what we truly are.


                                         Our Actions. Our words. 

Actions speak louder than words.