Saturday, September 27, 2014

THE COLORS OF DISAPPOINTMENT

 By Angeline M Duran Santiago

Disappointment comes in many colors. 
In comes in the robes of red angry tones, holding you tightly. Like a fire rising up into your face when words caused the dancer to become embarrassed and feel the heat rise. Red warmth, flooding each vessel, bubbling 


The dancer is prostrated on the floor, with hands fully extended upon her legs. She is breathing slowly. She is patiently waiting for the choreographer to give her the signal that the music will begin. Feeling the extra long stretch in her legs, she begins to wonder, when will my time to get up, to rise up and go forward begin. As her mind begins to wonder if she's been forgotten and left on the stage alone, the choreographer appears.

He points to a door and then leaves. This was not the dance she had rehearsed. She was ready and knew what to do. Now, now this. This door. Is it the exit, the farewell to all her expectations, or a new beginning? With her heart beating to the soft sound of a choir rising behind her, she moves, with the steps of a dancer, trained to be perfect, even in the dance of uncertainty.



Stepping through the door, the dancer feels the heat rising around her, as her beautiful garments change into hues of reds and fiery auburn. Around her the words that were earlier in her mind seem to race around the room reminding her of all the disappointments, of all the doubts, and of all the moments she spent allowing anger to move through her. They pushed her into this room. They failed. They lied. 

The music darkens into an epic sound of a battle field filled with soldiers, lashing at each other til the very end. Her dance changes into a whirl of moves, releasing her pain into the crevices of the unknown. Disappointment comes in all colors. She raises her hands as if ready to plead to the orchestra to stop and come remove her from this room, and as she raises her head, the choreographer, walks slowly, into the red room and looks upon the weary, battle worn dancer. He points to the door that appears before her and before she has time to question him, he is gone.


Dancer, move. Don't stay here. I know you're upset, you're sad, you're disappointed. But, don't stay here. Go to the next door. On pointed toes, she tip toes for the next door. A whirlwind of blues and purples move around her, transforming her garments into blends of blues, lavender, purple, violet and midnight. Like a fierce storm the wind lashes out at her and the dancer has no choice but to move like she's never moved before. War like drums dramatically fill the room. Painful sounds, cries, and lamentation pierce through the music as it gets louder, inviting her to move to the jungle-like rhythm, where the pain seems so real. 

Disappointment comes in all shades and colors. The let down, the put down, the sarcastic replies. The cover ups, the deceit, and so many lies. The waves that come smacking, battering blue, leaving the eyes and the heart scarred and bruised.

Dancer keep dancing, you cannot stay here. This room will freeze you and fill you with fear. Blue shadows fill her eyes and she looks for the way out. The doors are covered with cobwebs. Has she been here too long?

Choreographer come, point the way, lead her out. Disappointment comes in colors that won't help us run out.



A new door does open, and the dancer awaits. Should she press through or wait for the instructions to come? Rain, the sound of rain, rapids, falling upon the bubbling waters of life. She leaps, for suddenly she sees not only yellows and greens, but foams in the water reflecting clear water, clarity, peace and tranquility.

Three violins begin to play from afar, inviting the dancer to come closer. She moves and she dances, expressing questions and a heart still unsure. Disappointment leaves you tired, filled with wondering, and wanting more.

The choreographer comes from behind the falling waters, and he says, "Don't wait for me. You know what to do. Move with your heart." The dancer allows the change in music to take her to a new place, a place filled with rainbows that glisten and waters that are clear with promise. 

The choreographer smiles. His garments majestic in splendor. His eyes filled with love. "I allowed you to walk through the rooms of disappointment in your life, but I was always there. I am still here. You see, there is always a way out. I will always provide what you need."

My friend, you are the dancer. 
Where has the music of life led you to?
Is life filled with disappointments and kept you in depression, sadness, anger and confusion? 

Let the music that lift you up to a new place in your life. Allow the choreographer to direct your paths. Allow the Lord to have a way in your life as you move through the rooms of disappointment and insecurity.


Here the music today and rise. Yes, the door may lead you into a battle. The music may make you face your pain, your past and what's really bothering you on the inside. But, the greatest thing is that God is ready to help you and me the moment we ask Him to intervene. He is the healing, the helper and everything we need.

I know all about disappointments but I've readied my feet and tuned my heart to the music. Join me in the dance into victory, into clear waters of peace as we rejoice and celebrate in His presence.