This morning my body fought hard against me as I pushed it to get up for work. The sun was still hiding somewhere behind my home. It was quiet outside, and even my noisy neighbors were still snoring away.
My head weighed a few hundred pounds and pushed me back on the pillows, yelling at me, forcing me to recognize what I was experiencing. I pushed back into the wrestling, said a small prayer and began to get dressed. My body went through moments of chills and then moments of feeling so warm I wanted to open the windows. I knew the fever was back.
Was it the flu, a virus, a cold? All I knew was that I allowed invisible arms to push me back into my empty bed. The worry in my mind began to speak loudly as I knew how important being at work was today, and I decided to get up again and go for some medication to help me feel better. The truth was, nothing worked. My body cried for rest, for a time out, and for some much needed old fashion sleeping past sunrise.
I'm writing to share that although I've managed to get up, I couldn't make it to work. But, although I remained in bed most of the day, I realized that sometimes we need to be renewed.
Restore me, Lord.
As I laid in bed, I craved for God's mighty hand to heal me, not only my body, but those areas in my life that have for so long needed to be healed. We sometimes have emotional areas in our lives that need just as much attention as our physical bodies do.
Perhaps today I needed both.
Renew me Lord. I need my strength not only for my daily work, but to be there for my children, my family, and the great work ever before me.
Restore me, Lord. Your strength is all I need for the rest of my life. Your grace, your power flowing in me. I need your love to heal the areas that are broken. I need you to fill me so that I can be a stream of love and encouragement for my children and my family.
Restore me, Lord so that my arms are not weak, but strong to hold my children when they are aching or hurting.
Fill me Lord. I want to be able to be a blessing to those people that are in my life each day.
I would love to say I'm at 100% as I conclude this blog today. (And yes, it's been like forever since I wrote) But, I needed to express that in my weakness, God's strength lifts me up. In my infirmities, He is my healer even as I wait. In my distress, I call out to the Lord and He hears me.
He knows the needs in my child's life.
He knows the brokenness in my family.
He knows every care, every hurt and every need. God is not blind to the sickness we have to deal with. God is not ignorant of our financial struggles. God is not deaf to our cries.
Restore me Lord.
In you I wait.