IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!

 

We want to fix things in our lives. I know I do. We want life in our home to be peaceful, our kids to be healthy, prosperous, and respectful. We want our marriage to be harmonious, beautiful, and on fire not only intimately but in the knowledge of Scriptures. We want to succeed in our work place and we want and want and want. I want lots of things also. But, the truth is that our homes, and our lives, with all our wants, we don't want the same things- together. We are that divided house scripture talks about. We walk around as if we have built the foundation of our homes, our lives on a strong foundation and that we cannot crumble, neither can our circumstances bring us to our knees, and we think that if you put on this "I can do anything" attitude for long enough, we can come through any difficulty.

The truth is, and I can only share from my personal experience and from what I believe the Lord teaches me as I go along. You have to want the same things, together, especially in marriage, for things to work out. 

 

In marriage, if one person is desiring the ways designed for us through Scripture, and the other person wants to follow their own ambition and their own selfish road, sooner or later it all comes to an end? Why? Because we're supposed to be one in all things. Our walk with the Lord, even when the temptation and the challenges come, still needs to be constant. I am not only talking about relationships where one person is seeking to live for the Lord and the other keeps walking in their ups and downs and can't decide if they will live for God or not, I am also fearlessly calling out marriages where both are claiming to serve and honor Christ, where both husband and wife are involved in ministry and yet when they come home, it is chaos.

My brother and sister, there is NO way God is getting any glory for your work if when you come home you refuse to see that the foundation in your marriage and the groundwork in your heart is faulty. It's shaking and you're refusing to acknowledge that you are responsible for how everything around you is falling apart. You can't claim to pray for people and love people and then go home and you can't love your husband. How can you share the gospel, sing, dance, do what you do for the honor and glory of God and then when you get home you close yourself in your room and shut the world out?  

 

 My brother and sister, my friend, and anyone who finds this today, you have to stop all the nonsense of Kingdom living and the lies you're telling yourself! Kingdom living is living a life that honors God and it begins in your heart, that's your first home, and then it extends to your family and those who live with you, and after the main people in your life, then and only then can you truly minister to others because what God is doing on the inside can be reflected on the outside.

I struggle. I struggle a lot. My marriage has gone through storms. No. That's a lie. We've gone through Tsunamis and Tornadoes. Those episodes have been damaging in every way. Even though God has been present, helping us work through so  many issues, we've seen the labor of our hands come crashing down. God wants us to be a team. God wants our marriages to show a partnership of love and walking together as one. God's design is that our children will see the wholeness in our lives, see our love for God and one another, and that leads them to see and also want to serve the Lord.
I'm not telling you its easy, but yes, it can be if you take grab hands and choose to walk completely as one in the ways of the Lord. 

 

For you who forgot what it was like when you were at that altar, entering into covenant with the Lord and your spouse, let me remind you, it's not going to work unless God is truly invited to be part of your daily life. For you who think it's one day serve the Lord and the next, you're "living la vida loca" because no one is watching, you're foolish to keep on this way. Your words and your actions can be the bricks, the stone, the mortar, the rocks, and the planks of wood that build your home beautifully and strong. Or, your words and your actions will be the very words that work like an explosion, a fire or a storm that finishes off what you thought you had as a family, a home.

I am the first to confess that there are days you want to stop trying. You feel alone and you wonder, "God, is this your plan? Is it worth fighting for any more? When will my life be together? When will I see my children living the way I know they can live under your guidance? Lord, when will you visit my home? Lord, when will this heart of mine truly be free? God, I've prayed and prayed, but God I feel done, so done! Lord, why I am still holding on?" I know what some of your prayers may sound like because my life is far from perfect, and far from where it needs to be. I too am a work in progress. But, I don't give up. I keep on. I choose to believe. I choose to stand and take my place in the battlefield that pulls my family, my marriage and myself into the arena to face the lions. You may be there also. And I know God is saying, "Come together! Pray! Do not fear! Seek me and you will see I am here in the fire with you!"

 

Is your marriage under fire? Is it getting to where there are days you hate each other? One of you is going to say, "Let's pray." You're going to have to hug and love when all you feel is hurt and anger. One of you is going to have to put on the whole armor of God and push the enemy back. One of you is going to have to look under your house and begin to find where the foundation is coming apart and start fixing it, little by little. One of you is going to have to forgive- over and over and over again. I don't know why I am writing this, but you are going to learn and experience just a tiny taste of how many times God forgives us. One of you is going to have to be, "not the bigger one" and say sorry, but the person of faith that will turn to God and stand on His promises. And, if it doesn't work out and counseling doesn't help, then your next steps will come but let them come with God's guidance. If you have chosen divorce, do it in peace. Try to. Seek Godly counsel every step of the way. I won't linger there because I believe that in MOST situations, not ALL, marriage can be restored. If you are in an abusive marriage, (And I am not just talking about physical abuse where someone is being beat up) abuse comes in SO MANY FORMS, so If you're in an abusive marriage, GET HELP!!!!

I end with this, "Is God bigger than your heartbreak?" "Is God greater than your past?" "Is God more powerful than the hell you are living in right now?" YES! YES! and YES! If husband and wife will come together today to seek the Lord and trust HIM to restore, your home will  not fall when the storms come blowing your way. I pray God's blessings, his help, His presence and His faithfulness to surround you today. May God intervened and speak into your life. May God restore and renew. In Jesus Name, Amen. 

Written By Angeline M Duran Santiago

#marriage, #divorce, #marriagecounseling, #Godandmarriage, #hurtfulmarriage, #prayingtogether, #husband, #wife, #weddingvows, #wedding, #Weddingregret, #infidelity, #Godcan, #trustGod, #pursueGod, #Prayforyourmarriage, #MarriageRestored, #seekGod, #delivered, #restored, #renewed, #forgive, #forgiveness, #forgivenessinmarriage, #forgiveagain, #helpless, #abusehome, #familyrestored, #abuseinmarriage, #crisis, #marriageincrisis, #marriageunderassault, #Godscoveneant, #marriagehelp, #Godcares, #standtogether, #acordnoteasilybroken, #fasting, #prayer, #Scriptures, #relationshiphelp