By Angeline M Duran Santiago
Monday, August 29, 2016
I WAS THAT GIRL!
I am the one who was broken,
I am that girl who was hurting,
I was shut down,
Sometimes it still feels that way,
I was immersed in LOVE
and ever since
No matter how you sift me,
No matter how you work at it to tear me apart,
I was the girl who couldn't get up,
But, I am standing.
Some days, bending down
I was unable to feel secure I could make it
I will be the one who remains upright,
In the midst of adversity
When the voices around me tell me something is wrong but I can't see it,
When the voices around me tell me I need to change
And I have prayed, "Lord, change me."
But, they still can't see it,
I will be the one who remains afloat
When the tempest has hit it's hardest
ransacking my insides and all of me
Shaking up my world so I don't know which side is up and which is down,
I am the one who will trust in You, Lord,
I will call upon you and not fear.
I was the one they laughed at
I will be the one who rejoices at the end
Because You O Lord,
You hear my cry,
You know my distress
You know my comfort zone and when I
feel like dirt on the floor.
In and out,
You know me,
You know me.
I want to lash out
Scream, yell, be loud!
The thunderous roar inside of me wants to
explode, "Leave me alone!"
But, if I am to honor You Lord
then I will learn to cover the lid
of this boiling pot
For they throw wood on the fire
And then stare
To see if I will boil over
and let go, crashing over and messing up.
Put your love inside me
For although I confess I say it is there,
Many times I feel the ardent need
to say what I have to say
And, Lord, if I do,
My tongue will not be the tongue of a skilled writer, but the sword of an expert assasin,
Using every syllable to lash out my anger and my hurt, the misunderstandings, the woes,
Since I want to be Your mouthpiece,
And show what you have done
Then change my heart,
take every heartbeat and renew my heart.
Deliver me from what others see and hear
But I cannot.
Change me to be the one you are pleased with
and not the one who brings shame.
Let my life bring you glory
Use every facial expression to draw all men towards Your love and mercy.
Use my words to prove that You are real, You are true and You are what broken lives need.
I was the girl who was once broken,
the waves searched for me and held me deep in it's clutch, tossing me from side to side,
But, Lord you saw it all,
I did not die!
I was her, battered, confused and lost
But you turned my mourning into dancing!
You took my dance and taught me to take each movement and turn it into a prayer.
Maybe, just maybe
Who I was reminds you of who you are,
I am not perfect
And life has not turned perfect
But each step is now accompanied with God's presence, God's love, God.
Maybe you're broken, bruised and crying out into the unknown, wishing for life to take you away.
God has taken the mess inside of me,
emotionally and physically,
He's still healing
Renewing, Changing, Transforming
Making me who I was born to be.
Can you hope again, today?
Can you open up the tattered areas of your life and invite the Carpenter of heaven to come and put your life back together, again?
He can and He will if you call upon His name,
He shall not turn you away.
May God's love touch your life tonight.
By Angeline M Duran Santiago