By Angeline M Duran Santiago
I want to share some of the journal entries I've made as I read through, "Make the Circle by Mark Batterson. They're not super amazing quotes or mind boggling discoveries, just simple tidbits I write as I read along.
Day 1
I need to stop trying to just pray these quick robotic prayers. God already knows what I need. So, Lord, can you show me how to come before you and just sit here, chill out in this place so I can learn just how to share my heart with you the way I need to. Show me how to open up my heart and let you see what's inside. You know every prayer and every concern written all over my mind. You hear them screamed out at times, over and over and over again. I come without an agenda, no routines, no formulas, just me. I give myself over to you and I long to truly hear your heart in the matter of prayer, talking and sharing my heart with you. You know my kids, my family, my job, my everything. You know what I should pray for. I thought I knew, but I know I need to seek you anew because I truly want to know your heart and I truly want to experience your hand working in my life and in the life of those that make a part of my life.
Day 2
How can I not trust you with the small stuff in my life?
Healing, financial situations, my children? To me they are my life and they've always been the huge things in my life. But, compared to the mountains, the skies, the universe, my issues are but specs to you. So, Lord, I want to learn to trust you with the miracles and the promises that are in your word and are easy for you. You just speak the Word and it happens. You speak and healing comes forth. You speak and the dead rise. You speak and the oppressed and bound are set free. You show up and the darkness has to run. So, if you are master and Lord over the things that are so hugs and awesome in this world, then I know that you will take care of my life as well.
Lord, I don't know how to ask for faith or how to truly always stand on your word when I don't always see your delivering and healing hand at work in my prayers. But, I will trust in you and start seeing the issues in my life as some of the smaller stuff that is super important to you and you by no way are passing me by. If you take care of the huge issues, then you can most definitely take care of our hurts and our needs. Lord, truth is, for me, these things are gigantic. They are by no mean small in any way and I am not assuming the author is speculating this. I just want you to know that to me healing is a huge issue in my home, in our bodies, and I know you will lead me and teach me as I wait on you and trust in your word.
Day 3
I haven't truly done this Lord, But, I am going to take time to follow through. I thought I was living completely surrendered and given to you but truth is I still get angry, pissed off sometimes and frustrated. I feel let down and it's not always easy to live this "set apart" life.
You are asking me to consecrate myself to you. You ask me to devote myself, be set apart and be completely dedicated to you and that is my heart's desire.
Day 4
Change me, Lord!
Day 5
Help me to write down what I need to keep written down so that it may be a testimony to all you do. Let my words be evidence that you are a true God, a God that hears and responds.
Here ends what I believe I could share from my journaling. It's only a few things here and there because of course, lots of what I write down is my private thoughts. I hope you will also take the time to pray, talk to the Lord, read scripture and write down what the Lord impresses on your heart or what you learn from the scriptures you read. I believe you will begin to see some wonderful things take place.
God bless you!
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