What's Your Story?

Written By Angeline Duran Santiago

There are stories that are meant to be written, and some, well, they’re meant to be shared while others remain in the mind of the writer, the story teller, a narration of sorts, living inside the pages of the author who chooses to keep the story inside, and shared upon wings of a prayer to the Lord. For some, it is said that if they tell others their story, they’re sharing the pain that makes that moment real. In doing so, for many, it is either reliving the hurts of the past along with the joys, but it is where we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to let someone else for just a moment see the raw and cut up places in the heart, and then what would they say? 

Some would say there is something deeply wrong with the storyteller and that serious and quick counseling is needed or that something is most likely very wrong with the person. Either way, who wants to open themselves up to be read and be left on the shelf, forgotten, for the next set of eyes, and for what? What benefit does the reader truly get from reading the cries of the broken hearted or the cheers of the one celebrating? They are not present and therefore cannot possibly receive any true gratification from entering the life of another through the written word. 

Life hurts. It is full of disappointments and rollercoaster rides that leave some exhilarated with arms lifted high begging to do it all over one more time, or it leaves the rider running for the garbage can or asking someone for a barf bag where they can release the after effects of that ride, amazing or horrible. It all depends on who the rider is on that rollercoaster ride and just what is going on inside of them when they begin moving forward and cannot get out. Sorry buddy. The ride has begun and it’s too late to get out. The ups and down begin, along with the swirls, the slow movement upward and then the quick downward spiral as if you’re flying straight out of the moon for that second, and your life seems like it’s going to be over soon. 

Life can be full of crazy moments. You make choices thinking of happily ever after to discover and discover it quickly that you’ve jumped into a nightmare without exit signs. Sometimes our choices in life seem correct and so full of beauty, but I’ve learned that roses are beautiful, and those same roses are filled with thorns. One must carefully handle them or know how to remove those thorns before touching one, or just admire them from afar. I learned that thinking someone loves you doesn’t mean the same and knowing you are loved and just because you give your love to another does not guarantee they will reciprocate the love. Life is full of the unexpected learning experiences and you and I are the ones living on the pages of a narration we wish we could control, we think we have some say over, and we attempt to live in such a way as to do what is right and live in a way that is worth the story. Sadly, many stories end before their time because it hurts to live. It hurts to be in the same room with another who is full of contempt and breathes hatred into the space you share. It is difficult to be around someone who changes constantly and one moment wants to do something for you and the next moment is adding one more day to their two month marathon of silence and angry stares. 

Perhaps, and I am no expert in any area of learning especially life, perhaps this is why God gave us the secret to surviving life and called it prayer. Maybe He knew and knows that we cannot exist and survive without coming to Him with our story, the parts of our stories that are too dark and too painful. He gave us the answer of prayer so that we could come to Him and cry before Him and leave cleansed of all the pain and all the darkness as we sit in His presence and allow His healing and his love to write our story in our cries to Him. I believe that God gave us prayer so that we would have a voice, an escape and a journey out of our crisis and into His throne room, a heavenly place where we can come without fear, no restrictions, no condemnation, no judgement, a safe place to be ourselves, to just be, and all would be, it is, totally fine.

 Absolute surrender through prayer to speak our stories, cry our stories, sing our stories or dance our stories before Him in our own way because He already knows our heart and minds, and He invites us to come before Him, lay our burdens down, before the audience of One, the heart of God. I am grateful for the stage of prayer, the curtain call of God’s presence, and the opportunity to be invited on to the arena of God’s heart where I can release my dance, and share my heart on the dance floor, and allow the music inside of me to tell my story as God receives each word and says, “I am with you my child. You are not alone.” 

I am in awe that the Lord would allow me to take the paint and move the paintbrush up and down upon the stage where I can paint the bruises that only He can see, and I can paint the heart that is bleeding with deep, dark reds. He allows me to cover the yellows with browns and grays because my mind is full of confusion and doubt. Then He comes and shows me that He is the Redeemer even of the strokes painfully and angrily pushed on the canvas. He comes and silently and lovingly introduces me to a new canvas and smiles, then says, “Start again.” I am in awe that when I’ve only felt choked up and couldn’t speak, the Lord would free the song within me, allowing me to raise my voice to heaven and sing my heart out. A desperate plea turning into praise and worship as my story becomes a place of healing, a place of surrender. 

We all have a story hidden within us and we all wish there was someone to know our story. Sometimes we need to speak it and other times, as I’ve said before, it remains deep inside the storehouse of our memories. It is then, I hope you come to know God’s plan and that sharing your heart with Him is the best way to write your story on to the wings of the wind. Let God carry your hurts, your mistakes, and all your heartache away to where His love begins the healing in your life. Learn about prayer. Prayer is God’s gift to us, where we begin our relationship with the One who loves us so much that He keeps a new canvas ready for the painter, a brand-new notebook for the writer and the musician, and a brand- new stage for the dancer. Prayer is a back and forth communication from one writer to another, from one artist to another, from one creator and composer to another. This is why He understands our hearts so well.

What’s your story? God’s ready for you to release the storyteller in you so that you may finally be free and live life, a victorious story, unafraid.