Change

Change
By Angeline M Duran Santiago

Change comes when you've taken time to stare into the same space
Empty space
Without fulfillment, without purpose, stagnant, almost dead
And something within you screams,
yells at you and tells you to look at what's in front of you
because you're getting ready to crash
If you don't make a decision to turn, stop, slow down,
or change your direction.

Change comes when your heart is tired of feeling the same feeling
and the feeling is void of joy
the desire to enjoy emotions have begun to identify only numbness
And in the midst of that deadness
Pain screams out because everything going on inside of you hurts
But, you've become so accustomed to the sting
You ignore the cry of your heart
Crying out for change.

Change comes when you get up and shake yourself
because those around you are emotionally drained by the
vacuum of your darkness,
Sucking up their joy, their energy, their life
Because you refuse to take the first step to make the turn
The turn that will lead you to the door that needs to be opened
the door that needs to be opened to the abundant life
God has offered but you have ignored
Ignored because the doors you have opened have kept you
In darkness
In bondage
In solitude
In fear and pain that comes and goes.
Doors you have chosen to open to a world that is not the world
your heart needs.

Change will come when you run to the Light
the Light that shines near the door that waits for you to run to,
The door that leads to the God that offers a change
from death to life,
from darkness to the light of day
From pain to joy even in the hard times.

Change comes when you look around you and get tired
of getting older and nothing has gotten better, only worse,
and the ones who love you pray for you
but they too
Are making choices
Deciding to move forward
And the choices they make
May just leave you alone
And you will have to decide if you really want to change
or if your life will remain the same
because you chose to remain where you are,
Afraid of Change
Afraid of praying
Afraid of hoping and loving
And moving forward for those who have loved you
But since you refused to even try
the world around you kept going on without you
And those who waited for you to choose life
Moved on without you,
Chose life,
Chose Joy
And left you with your choices
to remain the same.