Waiting for God in Hope

By Angeline M Duran Santiago

I don't know if I'm the only one that experiences this, but there are so many times I truly want to pray and commune with the Lord but I can't. It seems that my heart is beyond heavy and exhaustion takes over. The moment I try to speak to the Lord, it seems everything that was stocked up inside of me begins to pour out and all I can do is allow the emotions bottled up to have their way before I speak.

Waiting. It where God's parking lot exist in my world and I find myself waiting on Him. I wait for the work He is doing in my heart and for the work I hope He is doing in my life. I wait for healing and for better opportunities in life. I wait for His direction and guidance. I can't drive away because I haven't received the green light to leave. It is in this waiting that I meditate on Him and His Word and I seek His face. "God," I whisper, "Where are you?"

Then, hope rises within me as His presence ever so softly invades my surroundings and I am reminded that I am not alone. I am reminded that He hears and He will show up in my moments of despair. Holy Spirit reminds me to hope and hold on because I will see His glory in my life. 

Lord, I want to pray sometimes and I feel like a child just wanting to be held by their mama. Sometimes, I feel so done and tired and I want to say, "No, God, I don't want to believe for this situation or that person anymore." Yet, You love me, Lord when I become like a bratty child wanting my way and you remind me that Love is greater than fear. You remind me Love is greater than the hurt caused by someone who is in pain, who is lost and who still doesn't truly have you in their heart.

Help me, Lord to see beyond the rain and know that there's a rainbow waiting to pop up behind the storm. Bring strength to my heart so that I can keep waiting and wait some more. I move on with my life, but my faith remains in the parking lot of waiting on You and believing in your Word. You are faithful when I am too tired to turn to You. You are my strength when I forget to hold on to You and turn to my own devices and my own resources.

Dear God, you are the keeper of my heart and I long for you like a life that is lost in the desert and needs water desperately. I long for You in my now, in each moment, and in those to come.
I wait for You in hope that you will never fail those that choose to trust in You!