With You Always

 

Growing Faith

Sit in church and listen to enough sermons, and you have the food for thought that grows faith. Hear enough messages on God's promises and your heart becomes sure of what God can do. You begin to hold on to Bible verses that assure you of God's goodness and protection. Something inside of you embraces hope and at times, you feel so strong that you can climb on top of your home's roof and shout out boldly at any army coming your way, "Don't get any closer! My God is within me and I am not afraid."

Allow your fingers to glide through your cell phone and you'll see many posts reminding you to believe that if you hide God's word in your heart, nothing can touch you or your loved ones. Turn on the television or go online and find your favorite preacher and most of them echo the message, believe God's word and you are immune to the sickness, to the plague that strikes by night, and the enemy cannot harm you.

The Unwanted Comes

But then your life changes because sickness knocks at your door like a traveling salesman and enters uninvited with a lot more than a vacuum cleaner and a pitch to sell you the best internet offer in the neighborhood. You pray and you declare God's word in your life and in your home and yet, as you fall asleep believing that God's power is covering your children and your family, the plague, disease, problems, devastation and even death seep through the bottom crevices of your home's door. Infirmity touches the bodies you've prayed for. Financial hardship sits at your coffee table to a staring contest to see what you're going to do. 

The cries outside your home are not only the ones who deny God's existence, but they're inside the very walls of the room where you've prayed, sang unto the Lord, and cried out for God's deliverance. You question heaven and say, "But your word says that he that dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." As you repeat every promise of divine intervention, your heart if filled with guilt because now you're questioning the Lord and doubt has crept in. You speak it out again,

You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,

Nor the arrow that flies by day,

Nor of the pestilence that walks in the darkness,

Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

A thousand my fall at your side,

And ten thousand at your right hand;

But it shall not come near you,(Psalm 91)

Where are you Lord?

How do you go on to explain to your child that in all reality, at this moment you are experiencing fear. The answer to your prayer may just not be what you were believing for, not this time. How do you respond to your surroundings what those arrows are flying at all times of the day against you and your children, your spouse, your parents, and your family and it seems that the sword you once held so firmly in your hand, seems like an invisible shield and all hell is breaking through? "Lord, but you promised. I chose to believe." The battle becomes real because you are facing the giants of sickness, of a virus or an infection that cannot be healed or removed. The battle rages on around you because the only news coming your way is to get ready for death. It seems unreal. How can this be possible?

As a person of faith, believing that everything in the Scriptures is true regarding God's power and authority, it is hard when other believers write and post things like, "If you believe His word, sickness and poverty will not touch you." So, if and when it touches the believer, does it make us less of a person of conviction and assurance in God's love for us, or is it a measure we use to separate strong believers from the weak ones? Is there such a thing?

No exemptions

I've always known that as a Christian, I am not exempt from pain, from sickness or suffering. I have always chosen to believe that God can protect us and I've seen Him do great things in my life. But, the truth is that we live in this world, a world of sin and a world that continues to choose darkness over light, and to mistreat humanity instead of protecting life regardless of age. Even though in my mind as a new believer in my teens years when I envisioned an invisible shield around us from the Lord, protecting us and keeping us safe from all the ugliness and all the pain of this world, I knew in my heart that the reason Jesus died on the cross was because of all the mess humanity had faced and continues to face while we are alive. 

Jesus himself didn't beat around the bush regarding difficult times, but said, These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. (John 16:33) So, in the midst of tribulations, in the midst of a worldwide epidemic, in the midst of watching your spouse slip away from life before your eyes, in the midst of seeing your child struggling to take their next step, in the midst of knowing your loved one is suffering and you can't go visit them to comfort them and care for them, in the midst of funeral preparations and your heart breaking, Jesus says, These things I have spoken to you, have peace. Jesus knew the tragedies of the past and he also knew what life would be like in the 21st century. He knew every painful second so many of us were going to experience and in he left the words, be of good cheer because I have overcome the world. 

Hold on 

The Lord chose to prepare us ahead of time, acknowledging, not sugar coating or hiding the truth, but letting us know that the battle against his creation would be far from  over just because He died on that cross and rose on the third day. Jesus was warning us to find that place of strength where we could still have peace while we passed through the valley of shadow and death. He was instructing us to grab hold of peace. Oh, and that is a hard thing to do when you can't think straight and when you feel as if someone pulled the floor out from under your feet and you're falling, and falling, and the pain inside you is unbearable. To make matters worse, believers and those you held in high esteem become the fingers wagging and pointing at you, saying that your world is crumbling because you didn't have faith, you weren't strong, you didn't believe or you are in sin. The list of accusations is written against you, while you try to hide under the shadow of the Almighty and declare that even yet, he is still our refuge, our fortress, and our salvation.

My brother, my sister, my friend, I am sorry for your loss, your pain, and the hardships you are encountering and cannot pretend to know exactly how you are feeling today, right now. It saddens me to know that as you are trying to go through your current crisis, and as you are attempting to get up out of bed and try to keep going, the arms that should be holding you up and supporting you, pull away and use their words to add to your misery. We put enough guilt on ourselves because we know what we have prayed and how we chose to believe God for miracles but His will played out differently. 

Greater is He

There is a verse that says, You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4) If this verse is written to me, and it refers to me as a child, but also tells me that as a child, a child of the Most High, I have overcome them, and you fill in what "them" means to you, then I have a reason to hope again. It continues saying greater is He who is in you, God, the Risen One, the Almighty One, in you and me, is greater than he that is in the world. Who is he that is in the world? He that celebrates darkness and pulls God's creation into the mire by luring them into a life that leads to destruction. He refers to the one who lies, manipulates, entangles God's creation to become slaves to addictions of all kinds so that they cannot see that God wants them to win and overcome. God's word says I can grab hold of peace even when I am right smack in the middle of the storm and the winds are howling at me, peace. Joy, peace, and overcome. Not that sickness won't touch me or that hardship will stay away. Not that death is not part of my journey and not that I will never go through tribulations. 

I like Matthew 28:20, where I read, Jesus saying, "I'm with you."

(NIRV) And you can be sure that I am always with you, to the very end.” 

(NKJV)and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” [b]Amen. 

(Amplified version) and lo, I am with you always [remaining with you perpetually—regardless of circumstance, and on every occasion], even to the end of the age.”

No matter the language or the bible version you read this in, it's all the same. "I am with you always." I love that the Amplified version says that regardless of the circumstance, Jesus is going to stand with me. He went through his own hell, his own suffering, and no one but He alone knows what it is like to carry the weight of humanity's pain, this world's sin. Jesus alone can talk the talk when it comes to pain because he carried every burden and every sickness upon his back. He was bruised, beaten and pierced physically, mentally, and emotionally, carrying every dark moment of our life, allowing every wrong against his creation to be placed upon his body. 

Jesus carried my hurt, my sorrow, my doubts, my anger, my guilt, my shame, and even those fists that raised against him when I felt forsaken, abandoned, and lied to. Jesus showed up and sat next to me. He sits next to you. He is with you in that hospital bed in the intensive care unit. Jesus is present with you in your bedroom, as you cry out to God for your son and daughter. Jesus is with you in that living room as you beg God for healing and mercy for your parents. Jesus is with you, in the prison, in the workplace, even as you drive to work with tears in your eyes. God is with you as you walk through these extreme hardships feeling numb and lost. He is with you and he is with me.

You are His child.

You do not become less of a Christian or a believer when sickness visits your family. You do not become less of a man or woman of God when hardships hit your home and it seems God's promises are far away or just for some folk and not you. God doesn't stop being God in your life or mine. Therefore, I believe, that we continue to be his children, his beloved children and that He chooses to show himself loving, merciful, and powerful, even in when all we see is the affliction.

Yes, you are passing through the valley, your head hurts and your heart is full of grief and despair. He is with you. Yes, you feel alone and you don't understand what is going on. Where you wrong to have faith? No, our faith will be tried. We might one day be asked to deny the very faith we so boldly sing about now. Through the battle, through the affliction and through the persecution, will you and I remain faithful to the One who says, "I will remain by your side, no matter what." Will we hold on to the One who says, "I am here telling you that you can and will make it because I am, greater than the world is with you, greater than the world is inside of you, helping you understand that if He, God, greater than everything else is living inside of us, then we can stand against the problems, we can stand during the trials, we can stand firm when the wind blows, and we can have peace, be still and know that He is God and we are not alone.

In Him, Angeline

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