IN MY DEFENSE, THIS IS ONE FOR THE GUYS

In my defense, I was asked the question, "How do you know if he's the one?" and I responded to the ladies in my life. Do I have an answer for the fellas as well. Yes, I do. But, in my defense, I'm going to agree with the fellas that said I need to be fair and write to the guys too. So here goes. Do you get super happy when you see her because she is so beautiful? Is her beauty also in her manners, her behavior towards others, and how she thinks of others? Or is looks all she can offer?

There are some really great young men out there asking, "How do I know she's the one?" And, again, I'm only sharing what is my heart, so don't get angry if I don't write what you expected. In all honesty, I believe a young man should look for someone that will not be trying to change him in any way. If she wants to change anything, it better be an addiction or criminal behavior. Her words should be words of encouragement, words that hold you up and say, "I believe in you!"If she doesn't like how you dress or cut your hair, why is she dating you? Didn't she think about that before she said yes to you? I think the ideal girl inspires you to do great things, go out of your comfort zone and be bold, and cheers you on even when you are not sure yourself.

You want someone who is real and kind. She's not always giving you hints about the clothes, jewelry, and things she wishes she could have because she's hinting for you to buy them.

You see, if she is with you, it's because she's crazy about you, not about the cash in your wallet. The girl who wins your heart will love you and go out of her way to show it. Maybe she's not a great cook but she will go crazy making the right connections to learn how to make your favorite meals. She will meet you half way when making decisions, because together you are better than going separately. 

She recognizes your needs and wants to please you just like she wishes it from you.




As a Christian, I think the ideal girl will love
God above anything else. She would have a heart for serving the Lord and doing God's will. She will not be a constant complainer and gossip girl. You can take her to meet your family and when she is complimented, she will not start to flirt with your cousin, your brother, your married brother, your uncle and next door neighbor. She will not challenge you to defend her reputation by dressing up in a way that shows all her real estate hanging out. When the guys outside say nasty things to her, she expects you to put up your fists and fight every man in the street like you're the hulk.




She knows you're her superhero, even when you're in your sweatpants. The girl that sees perfection in your imperfections is worth keeping. If she's happy walking with you to the park just as if you went to a Broadway musical, she's pretty cool. She knows how to celebrate every small moment in your relationship from preparing a picnic basket, to going out to a nice restaurant, or just buying a chocolate bar and saying, "Here, Great job!"


Some couples are competitive and it seems the girl is always trying to outdo her guy. If he can run four miles, she can run five. If he swims five laps, she has to go for six. If you're going to be in a relationship like that, then just join a team of your choice. At least you'll get a trophy or medal at the end. But, you should be helping and complimenting each other, not trying to top the other one off to see who is the best. That's just my view point.

Does she share? Is it easy for her to cut her sandwich in half and give you that half? Is she proud of you or embarrassed to be seen with you in front of her best friends? Does she brag about you or does she complain about every little thing? Can she laugh with you? Do you have a great time with her? You have some choices to make and I hope my responses can bring some guidance.
Does this girl have dreams and ambitions that include the Lord? You see, everything I do includes God's favor and grace. I want my life filled with Jesus. If you're planning a family, you'll want someone you can pray with, worship with, agree with and live with, even when life is tough. Relationships can be fun and at times they are complicated.

 But, when you have found that perfect one, you'll know because it's when the storms and troubles come your way that you will decide if this person is worth keeping at your side, or if they'll just take you down during hardship.

Lastly, I say this. You know deep down inside if that girl you're texting and hanging out with at this moment is the one. What if the right one is just around the corner? Don't waste your time with a foolish girl who is just using you, your popularity and your money. You are the child of the King and God has great plans for you! He's interested in your success in every part of your life.

Hope I covered the questions and that all is well with this response to, "How do I know if she's the right one for me?"  I'm the mom of two boys and hope one day they'll agree say," thanks."

HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S THE ONE?

He knows you're definitely

I've been asked the question, “How do you know if he’s the one?” Of course, I am definitely not an expert in this area, but I can offer some advice. Maybe, it’s good. You be the judge.

What are some signs that he just might be the one? Fictional stories where there is a warrior or a brave knight willing to take a stand for the best interest of his kingdom are my favorites. Stories like Lord of the Rings, Knights of the Round Table, and Robin Hood.

So, I’d say this. Is he willing to go out his way, into the deep forest, to find the dragon and destroy it? Is he ready to do what it takes to protect the kingdom he represents? If this were your fairy tale, would you be begging your father, the King to let him be the one?

 Okay, your life is not a fairy tale, so let's talk plainly.

You see, I think young women have made it too easy for men to claim them. The challenge is gone, the romance abolished, and the two just get it on without even knowing last names. I think you, dear girl, are worth fighting for.

 I'll share my view as a believer in God's Word.  Is the young man that moves your heart representing God’s kingdom? Does he serve the King, heart loyally bound to serve Him at all cost? Does this young knight vow to fearlessly fight against the dragons  that wait in the darkness?

 In other words, will he fight all hell that rises against you? Will he pray? If his heart if far from the king, he will not live his life to hear God's voice. If this valiant warrior hides in the background when all the warriors are called by name, most likely you don’t even have a farm boy courting you, but a mere broomstick.

His behavior in private will echo his behavior in public. If he sees you as a princess, he will not treat you like a tramp.  He will defend your honor when people talk about you, including family and friends, and take your side, always. 

Does he respect you or does he just want to get in your pants? Does he value your ideas or just say, “Yeah, yeah” to everything? Can you have a genuine conversation with him and he’ll recall what you talked about or does he just talk about the same stuff all the time, boring you and seems empty headed and has an empty heart?

                                                     
                     

Do you go out on fun dates, or is he a cheap stake that won't even share his m&m's? Does he try to manipulate you to feel guilty so you give in to his way of thinking or does he look for ways to meet you half way?Do you get angry when he calls or texts you? 

Does he spend his time with you looking at his cell phone, texting and googling videos? Or does he value the small moments together and wants to create quality memories with you? Beautiful moments together?

  I love how in the movie,   Enchanted,the real prince isn't  ready to fight the evil queen to protect his bride. Yet, the one who truly loves her, although an untrained fighter, is willing to lay down his life and face the gigantic dragon that threatens the princess he has fallen in love with. If he's the guy for you, he will fight for your heart. If he's the one, he will do what it takes to win your affection the right way.

Here’s the end to my reply: If he places importance on your needs, your cares and wants, he’s a good choice. If he's trying to change you to fit his mold or just wants his friends to see you with him, dump his ass. 

I wonder? If you were locked in a tower, would he do what it took to reach you, fight the dragon, keeper of the tower, and then take you away to safety? If he will, then he’s a keeper. No matter how modern society gets, I think we all still wish for a little romance. 

I think you will just know he's the one because he's the one you can't live without during the day. He's wise and doesn't spend money foolishly. He isn't trying to bribe you into being with him.

He is your happy thought, makes you a better you, and wants you to excel in your gifts. He strengthens your good qualities, he doesn't sweat the small stuff, and deep down you know he loves the Lord more than you do because it shows in everything he does. Now the rest is up to you. Maybe I'm one hundred percent wrong in what I shared, but you girls, princesses that you are, asked and I shared. This is just my personal opinion. You have to decide for yourself. Pray and let the Lord guide you as you make your choices. Love you all. Till next time.