Monday, July 8, 2013


In my defense, I was asked the question, "How do you know if he's the one?" and I responded to the ladies in my life. Do I have an answer for the fellas as well. Yes, I do. But, in my defense, I'm going to agree with the fellas that said I need to be fair and write to the guys too. So here goes. Do you get super happy when you see her because she is so beautiful? Is her beauty also in her manners, her behavior towards others, and how she thinks of others? Or is looks all she can offer?

There are some really great young men out there asking, "How do I know she's the one?" And, again, I'm only sharing what is my heart, so don't get angry if I don't write what you expected. In all honesty, I believe a young man should look for someone that will not be trying to change him in any way. If she wants to change anything, it better be an addiction or criminal behavior. Her words should be words of encouragement, words that hold you up and say, "I believe in you!"If she doesn't like how you dress or cut your hair, why is she dating you? Didn't she think about that before she said yes to you? I think the ideal girl inspires you to do great things, go out of your comfort zone and be bold, and cheers you on even when you are not sure yourself.

You want someone who is real and kind. She's not always giving you hints about the clothes, jewelry, and things she wishes she could have because she's hinting for you to buy them.

You see, if she is with you, it's because she's crazy about you, not about the cash in your wallet. The girl who wins your heart will love you and go out of her way to show it. Maybe she's not a great cook but she will go crazy making the right connections to learn how to make your favorite meals. She will meet you half way when making decisions, because together you are better than going separately. 

She recognizes your needs and wants to please you just like she wishes it from you.

As a Christian, I think the ideal girl will love
God above anything else. She would have a heart for serving the Lord and doing God's will. She will not be a constant complainer and gossip girl. You can take her to meet your family and when she is complimented, she will not start to flirt with your cousin, your brother, your married brother, your uncle and next door neighbor. She will not challenge you to defend her reputation by dressing up in a way that shows all her real estate hanging out. When the guys outside say nasty things to her, she expects you to put up your fists and fight every man in the street like you're the hulk.

She knows you're her superhero, even when you're in your sweatpants. The girl that sees perfection in your imperfections is worth keeping. If she's happy walking with you to the park just as if you went to a Broadway musical, she's pretty cool. She knows how to celebrate every small moment in your relationship from preparing a picnic basket, to going out to a nice restaurant, or just buying a chocolate bar and saying, "Here, Great job!"

Some couples are competitive and it seems the girl is always trying to outdo her guy. If he can run four miles, she can run five. If he swims five laps, she has to go for six. If you're going to be in a relationship like that, then just join a team of your choice. At least you'll get a trophy or medal at the end. But, you should be helping and complimenting each other, not trying to top the other one off to see who is the best. That's just my view point.

Does she share? Is it easy for her to cut her sandwich in half and give you that half? Is she proud of you or embarrassed to be seen with you in front of her best friends? Does she brag about you or does she complain about every little thing? Can she laugh with you? Do you have a great time with her? You have some choices to make and I hope my responses can bring some guidance.
Does this girl have dreams and ambitions that include the Lord? You see, everything I do includes God's favor and grace. I want my life filled with Jesus. If you're planning a family, you'll want someone you can pray with, worship with, agree with and live with, even when life is tough. Relationships can be fun and at times they are complicated.

 But, when you have found that perfect one, you'll know because it's when the storms and troubles come your way that you will decide if this person is worth keeping at your side, or if they'll just take you down during hardship.

Lastly, I say this. You know deep down inside if that girl you're texting and hanging out with at this moment is the one. What if the right one is just around the corner? Don't waste your time with a foolish girl who is just using you, your popularity and your money. You are the child of the King and God has great plans for you! He's interested in your success in every part of your life.

Hope I covered the questions and that all is well with this response to, "How do I know if she's the right one for me?"  I'm the mom of two boys and hope one day they'll agree say," thanks."



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