Saturday, January 25, 2014


Someone shared their thoughts on what a true friend is as well as what their experiences with so called true friends has been. The reaction to the comment was amazing! People were offended, angered and some agreed to the simple comment because in reality it was simple.

This is what was shared:

     "I've learned that aside from Jesus, and my family, along with a select few, I do not have friends. Why do you say thi? May will use the term, "I love you" very loosely but do not back it up with their actions. If it wasn't for face book, many wouldn't even know anything about me. 

    Real talk: they don't love me or probably don't even care. I can't remember the last time any came to visit, called, or hit me up. When I was a part of their "circle, church, job, etc." then I was their "friend". Once I was out of that scene, I was no longer important or part of their circle. People stop telling others you love them or are their friends, brother, or sister if you're not backing it up.

    I do no write this in anger of with a victim mentality. I write it to speak what is truth. I am more than content with my family being the ones near my heart. I always thought I would have friends that I would grow old with and our kids would grow up together. I see now that I was sadly mistaken. My family has stuck by my side regardless of anything. They have never abandoned or turned their backs on me. They have displayed what the love of God and family is to me, despite my short comings, failures or weaknesses. If you're a believe, then, in your being Christlike, you should be there for those you consider friends, not just verbally saying you love them, but physically showing it."

One of my favorite responses to this person's shared moment was this: People (friends) come into our lives for a season, for a moment in time, for a season of your lives. Yes, it is hard to see how easily people walk in and out of our lives, and it hurts when we see we're alone all of a sudden simply because we chose to move or be part of a different church. Weekends spent together sharing meals, visiting during birthdays and family events and praying together can really start making you feel this person is a best friend, like family, a true keeper. 

As sad as it is, once more, I agree that most friends are for a season. And, if they were truly friends at all, they are willing to endure with us through the different seasons in our lives. No matter how long time has passed between two people, when they meet again, if the love is genuine, they can pick up from where they left off, effortlessly.

I guess, and I could be interpreting wrong, the person who wrote the comment was simply stating a truth. If you say you love me, show it by being in my life. Actions speak louder than words. There was never anything offensive about the message. Just a heartfelt paragraph of coming to the conclusion that what was believed to be true and strong, has left this person questioning what they thought they had.

Being Christlike in our relationships with others is a huge expectation. Dwell on the thought of having the author and creator of love as our model for the love we offer and freely express to others. Wouldn't that change everything about us when we say to someone, "Count on me. I'm here for you?"

In my own journey, I've experience what this person shared. I can say that especially in church, I became very involved in community building, and creating bonds I thought were Godly and important to me personally and to my family. The majority of these relationships were never real because the moment a disagreement took place, the entire group gave me their backs and removed me from their social gatherings. It happened at work as well. The moment people saw how much Jesus I had in my life, I was left on the outside looking in. The moment I moved on to a new "season" in my life, every single one of my "friends" stopped all communication with me and left me hanging.

I thought we were on this journey of friends forever together?

My purpose for writing is to bring into question, "What do you mean when you say you love someone?" Today I challenge the words that come out of your mouth when you say, "I'm here for you brother or sister." Today, I ask you to rethink your commitment and your behavior with the people in your life, in your job and in your church. Do you love people when you can get information about them to gossip about them? Do you love people when you can hit on their husband or wife and not get caught? Do you love people when you can enjoy the spotlight of their popularity for a moment?

Is God calling you to reevaluate the friendship you offer others?Is it time to look deep inside and question what you mean when you say, "I love you brother or sister." Let love be real always.



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