ANSWERS NEEDED

Today I find myself in need of a word from You, Lord.
In the innocent and perhaps childish mindset of my moment,
I wish you'd just come and sit with me,
Talk with me,
Share with me your thoughts in regards to so many thoughts dancing around in my mind.
Decisions, and more decision,
And Oh, how I desire and truly long for your Word to guide me. I desperately wish for your hand to lead me to where I need to be and to lead me away from making any mistakes that will cause nothing but stress and heartache in the near future.
Answers are needed
And it seems that although I know I am correct to surrender and place my trust in You,
It is still ultimately up to me
And your voice is a peaceful presence, just here.

Lord,
How I wish you were a thunderous alarm ringing loud in my ears and in my heart,
Showing me, Crying out, "This way!" and
"No, not that way!"
But, you choose to be silent.
And I want to wait but around me it seems I am running out of time.
My advisers are present, but again,
It is, at the end, up to me to choose,
Up to me to decide.

Lord, But I want to make sure this is you at work here.
I'm tired of years and years of making the wrong decision,
And investing my all into something that gives me back nothing, absolutely nothing.

Answers needed, please.
Direction, guidance, and a sign,
A sign that my walking on this road is not my own choosing but that somehow in following my heart towards what I believe is what I should be doing,
I am in your will.

That is where I long to be, Lord.
In Your will, not mine.
My will gets me in trouble.
My will sits me in the chair of depression.
My will and my way embraces the mind of uncertainties and confusion and I don't want to be there,
I cannot be there.
Keep me away from that dark place where I am lost again,
I don't want that space, only Yours.

Help me, Lord.
Answers needed here for this daughter of yours,
I am here.
I will wait.
I will trust in you.
You know my needs and what my family needs.
I will wait for the answer,
It will come.
You will provide.

By Angeline M Duran Santiago