PRAYING THROUGH DISAPPOINTMENT
By Angeline M Duran Santiago
As people of faith, we are instructed and directed to walk in faith, live by faith and hope against all hope. We search the Scriptures looking for verses that will advocate our cause. We try to memorize those parts of the Bible with the hope that it will show we are leaning on God's Word and truly trusting in Him.
What do we do when life hands us a bag full of disappointment? What happens when those things we have been hoping for and waiting for with great expectation do not come our way the way we were hoping for? What happens when we believed God had a "yes" moment for us and all we get is a "no"? What happens when the things we walk into by faith begin to go wrong and we are disappointed because now we're wondering, "Did I hear God and follow after his leading, or did I hear my own thoughts and now this is the consequences?" What do we do when we've planted seeds in our children in those seeds seem dormant or dead and our once loving children turn against us and remind daily they can't stand to be around us?
I believe the answer to this is that I need to pray through my disappointments. "But, I've been praying and praying, sis! What do you mean to pray?" I think I was praying before by just believing and saying I was trusting the Lord. But, there's something different about my mom knowing that I love her and me picking up the phone and calling her to tell her I love her and then showing up in her home and hugging her to tell her I love her. I feel in my heart that Holy Spirit is saying, "You thought you were praying, you thought you were walking in faith, but you haven't truly turned everything over to me." I believe the Lord is saying, "Don't just say you trust me, come closer and truly begin to seek my face like never before so that you truly know Me."
Yes, I've prayed. You've prayed. I don't doubt it. Still, I am certain in my heart that I have not surrendered it all to Him. I need to give God my all, seek Him and talk to Him like I used to when I was younger in my faith. I remember crying out to God and living in this desperate hunger for His presence. I remember waiting on the Lord and truly hearing from the Lord. I remember being sick and the Lord healing and making me brand new in ways the doctors couldn't explain. Even when prayer went unanswered, I had this great peace because I knew that even in His silence, He was working for the best on my behalf.
If today you find yourself disappointed in the way things are going on in your heart, in your home, in your marriage, with your children, in your job, at school or in your choices, then like me, we need to return to a yearning and longing for God's presence like never before. Not because you or I have sinned, but because even in our disappointments, there is a Word from the Lord. Even in the let downs life brings, there is encouragement from the Lord. No matter how frustrated or down you or I feel right now, the Lord is saying, "I will take care of this situation you are experiencing." I believe the Lord is saying,
"Your son is in my hands. Your rebellious child is in my hands. I have not let him go. I am caring for him even as he walk away from me and even as he defies you and curses you out." Tonight I hear the Lord saying into my heart, "I see your wounded children. I see their hurt and what they've gone through. The reason they cry out and do what they're doing is because they have been hurt so bad and have not discovered I am their Healer." " I am restoring." "I am working in your life even as you think I have let you down. I have not forgotten you."
Tonight, Lord, we give our disappointments to You. Holy Spirit, visit our homes tonight and bring peace. Heal the emotions and the weary minds. Do the work in our lives only you can do. Let us know you know what is best for us and our family. We place our hope in you, no matter what we see, we know your word is our confidence and we will not be forsaken, ever.
We give you thanks and praise, in Jesus name.