Monday, May 9, 2016

TEACHING MY HEART AGAIN

Angeline M Duran Santiago

Here I am, at this phase in my life, not very young in years,
but in many ways still learning and learning again many of the 
simple truths that should have been memorized by my mind, 
my heart and my entire being so long ago, but, here I am,
teaching my heart, again.

I say, teaching, because obviously the lesson or the lessons 
are still being applied into my life and I find myself still finding the need to sit before the Lord, at His feet, to ask Him, "Help me."
It is the condition of my heart that cries out to be assisted and helped so that I may finally truly learn, understand and practice what I have been attempting to do for so long, and when I think
by some chance, that I "got it!", I realize I am still far behind. 
My report card still says, "Needs Improvement" and I must agree,
my heart is still learning, it is still pliable in God's hands.

Teach my heart, 
again,
To love
To love my neighbor
To understand that this concept and idea of loving my neighbor
extends into my daily walk, into every minute and every second of my life. Help my heart to see the person that irates, upsets, and  so easily gets under my skin that your expectation of me is higher and greater than their offense to my personal self.
Teach my heart to love.
For if I truly love my neighbor
I see them the way you see them.
The truth is Lord I can see through them.
I see the lies, the backstabbing they conduct without remorse, and the get over life they parade in front of others. I see their mean spirit in how they talk to others and at times to me. I feel the ugliness that comes forth from them and I don't even want to be around them. 
 

And still, 
You died for them as well.
So,
Please, Lord, allow me to move my tired limbs towards you
As I take this heart of mine and move it into your presence.
It is in your presence I can be better,
I can be who you want me to be,
Who and what I need to be
Not just for my family, my children, and my friends,
But, for my colleagues, my co-workers, the person in Dunkin Donuts who keeps getting my order for coffee wrong.

Here I am,
Teaching my heart to remember you are greater
You are my Lord
You are my helper and my source
You enable me to love and be kind
When my insides prefer to give it right back the way it was given to me. "Hey!", I wanna say, " I can talk like that to you also. I have a degree in using my words to cut you up." And as my mouth gets in the way, Your Spirit just nudges me and says, "What's up girl? You forgetting who you are and you belong to?"
And that is why,
I am here
Teaching my heart to love again,
Teaching my heart to forgive,
Teaching my mouth to be quiet and follow after You, Lord.

 
Perhaps, you too, face daily moments where people around you are just plain miserable and go out of their way to make your day stressful. Maybe you have no choice but to work or live with people that are unkind, use their words to cut you up, or talk about others in horrible ways, or just have that nasty attitude you can't really do much about.
It is here, dear friend in the Lord, that I am sharing what the Lord has been dealing with me in my heart and in my mind. I've had to allow myself to be a child again and not be afraid to say, "Lord, teach me, show me, but start in my heart." 

Dear Friend,
Do not feel you are too grown or too old to learn the simple truths that can set us free when our heart is angry and heavy. Love. If we allow love to be our guide and our teacher, then things can change.
I pray this can be a blessing to your life. I pray that as the Lord is working in my heart, in my life and in my daily situations, that the Lord will also do great things in your life and in your midst as well.
In Jesus name, Amen. 

 
 #love #loveagain #forgive #Godslove # #AngelineDuran