Lord, there is always something to be thankful for. I am thankful for the things I have and choose not to focus on what I lack.

You word declares that You shall supply all my needs according to your riches in glory. You Word states it so I’m going to patiently wait on your provision for all things.

I am thankful for the experiences I've had in the past few weeks. I am learning to see that your grace is sufficient to get me through each moment. In your word, it says that Joseph was mistreated, wrongly imprisoned and abandoned, and yet he was able to declare in Genesis 50:20 "But as for you, ye thought evil against me: but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day to save much people alive.

 I believe my pain and my struggles have been to make me even more sensitive to others and so that I can see that no one else but you were truly able to bring change and help at the right time.

I am thankful for people that pray for me and with me. You know them by name. Thank you that I've been able to come before you and see my friend who was dead come back to life, literally. Thank you that you are restoring long lost relationships. You have said in your word, Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.      John 16:22

Lord, I am also thankful that you have given me a heart to love others. No matter who they are, the choices they've made in life or are going to make, regardless if we agree on issues or not, even if they say they don’t really care to hear about Your love, thank you that I can be there for them when they need me. Thank you that you are teaching my heart to see through your eyes. I make mistakes many times, but thank you for your guidance. I know many that have very different beliefs and political viewpoints, but you are not interested in their argument. You want them to know that you love them. And, once they truly understand that, their lives will be in your hands, and that’s the right place to be.

CLICK TO VIEW VIDEO, "I HAVE A THANKFUL HEART" by PETRA

Lastly, Lord, thank you for the people that have forgiven me, as well. I know that I've had a bad attitude at times, especially with family, thanks for making things right. Continue to work in my life, for you are the potter and I am the clay. Make me an instrument you can use for your glory, every day. Amen. 

Hello, My Name is Regret

I wait on You, Lord, and as I do, you give me hope.......

       I sit here, with all these pillows, thinking. When your mind starts wandering, it’s a dangerous thing. You start to see all the things that are wrong. All your failures and mistakes pop up and say, “Remember me?” The things you should have done or not, replay in the back of your mind like a DVD stuck on replay. You see visions of tiny specs of time filled with regrets. No matter what you do to change their effect on your present, it seems hopeless. You hear the voice that says, “Hello. My name is regret, misfortune, defeat, failure and discouragement.” 

       I sit here thinking about all the things that are wrong, the things that are missing, and what a struggle I am having just to get through the motions of getting things changed. I don’t know how to change things and make life a little normal again. I turn to You Lord, and I wait. In You I hope.When one voice says, "Regret" there is another voice, if we choose to hear it that says, "Hope, Trust, Believe."

 Have you ever wondered if God looks at our lives and wonders how we allowed ourselves to become crippled and frozen in time? Of course He doesn't. He knows how we got to the place of slowly dying and He stands back to wait for us to recognize our deteriorating condition, to see if we will wake up from this ghastly rotting smell in ourselves and do something about it. It’s not until we realize that we can’t get out of our coma without calling on the name of Jesus that we can begin to walk again, baby steps, and see our depressive condition come to an end.

I don’t know where you are. Maybe your life is an amazing walk of faith and everything in your life is perfect. Maybe you don’t even believe in God and feel life just keeps getting better. You can’t imagine this bleak picture I paint here before you of regrets and failure because you don’t have any. And, it is also possible that you do understand where I am coming from. I believe with all my heart that God is working all things in my life for His good and that He is in control when I have lost it all. Like my brother Tito says, "He is still on his throne...." Do you realize that God is working it all for your best, too and that He is on your side, right now?

       This is His will. That we will surrender to Him and seek Him in such a way that we would know His will. Lord, I desire above all other things, to know your will. I yearn to walk guided by your hand. Let my days and my times always be before you. Remind me that I am yours. Remind me that you've taken the past and placed in the depths of time, as far as the East is from the West and that you remember it no more. Remind me and help me see that there is Victory when we wait on You and walk after You.

Do not go crazy trying to figure out what’s wrong and why I've written all this today. Please. It is my desire to have a place to share because maybe I’m not the only one that feels this way. It doesn't mean I've lost my faith or my hope. We all face regret and today I am facing mine, all of them. I deal with them this way. I write and allow you into my thoughts through this blog. Maybe you have regrets, too. 
Perhaps like me you feel washed up at times and think you will no longer get to do something meaningful like you once used to. Find your purpose in His Word and in His Presence. Begin today. Begin now.That is where I am turning to with greater hunger than before. I hope you can do the same.

For today, I place all my dreams in His hands. If I ever rise up to do anything again, the Lord be glorified. If I don’t ever get to do the things I thought I was supposed to do, the Lord be glorified.  And, if my life is to experience something new, and it is just to be still before Him, the Lord be glorified, still.

When We Were Friends

A letter 

WHEN WE WERE FRIENDS

I don't know how exactly it all happened or when, but somewhere along the line of time, our friendship ended. We used to be friends. I remember planning events together, setting dates apart to  go out.We use to go to the movies and hang out late at night, breaking night for no reason at all. We'd put on music and try the latest dance. We talked about our lives, our future, our ups and down. We shared so many things together. I remember those times as if so very far away.

Many of us got busy. This I can relate to. We got married and our life with a family started quickly. But, I never pushed you out of my life. I continued to be here for you. I reached out for you.

Then, there were the things people said. Oh, the people and their conversations. How foolish we are to listen or accept foolish words. You see those words caused great division between us. I never knew what they were. To this day, I still don't know what was said. And, I don't really care either. But, somehow, you did. And you closed the door in my life and walked away.

Friends come for a season. My brother has said on many occasions, "People come into your life for only a season." and it is true. But, somehow we continue to end up in one another's path and I was just wondering, Were you and I meant to walk our lives together, just a little bit longer?

I am sorry. Sorry for maybe not understanding or being like other people. I only know how to be me and being me can be very hard sometimes. I put God first in all I do. That has caused an exodus of almost everyone in my youth. I made a choice to live a life that shows I have Him in my heart. This news really scared off some of you. But, the truth is, I am still me. I will still be here when you need to talk. I will never push you away if you knock on my door.

If you need a hug, I will give you two. If you want to just walk in silence, my sneakers are under my bed, waiting for your call. I'll walk with you, even in the rain. I don't know how it happened, or when, but the we that we used to be is broken. When we were friends, life was fun! I always had something to look forward to. My kids are grown, but oh, they know so  many stories about us. I've shared almost all of them with them. So, although they've never grown up with you around, they know you, and I think they love you, too

When we were friends, I decided to live a little different, by receiving a new friend, Jesus Christ, into my life. How I hope one day you will understand what a difference His friendship has made. I have gone through such hopeless situations and He has been there to get me through each one.

I apologize with all my  heart for times I've been angry. I'm sorry for giving up and deciding to leave things as they are. But, the truth is I strongly feel there is something wrong and you need a friend in your life that you can talk to. If that is true, if something is going on and you need a friend then I am here, still here. You know where to find me. I will laugh with you, walk with you, stay up all night and cry with you. I am here praying for you, dear friend. Yes, you know who you are. I will pray for you so that your days are filled with joy and love and lots of sunshine. And, I hope that one day, before our last breath, I can see you and let you know, in my heart, you and I were forever friends.